Losing weight, the wrong way

F/13 5'7 SW:180 CW:150

This story starts at the beginning of quarantine, I decide to see how much I weighted and, to my horror I gained 20 pounds in the span of 6 months. All I could feel was shocked and disgusted with myself, all I could think was that I was 20 pounds from being 200 pounds. I decided enough was enough and download a calorie counter app. By 3 weeks I lost 25 pounds, shocked right, no one should be able to lose that much in such a little time . Well you see I was basically starving myself, I would eat about 400 per day. On my worst days I would eat 100 calories. I somehow managed to do this for a month, but then Ramadan happened. My family was suddenly buying all these delicious foods and couldn't resist. At night I would binge and binge, but always felt afraid that my progess was going to be lost. One day I stumbled on a page on a pro ana/bulimia page, telling me to throw up when every I binged. This started the unhealthy cycle of binging,purging and restricting. One day My mother walked in on my throwing up, but instead of getting me helped, all she did was make fun of me. My family began to noticed and began to make tease me for it. Your probably thinking " How cruel", however you got to understand my parents are Nigerian and were confused, so they responded in the only way they know how to . Anyways I continued to binge/purging for a while, my throat burned and I felt disgusting. Suddenly I decided I needed to stop purge and deciding to lose weight by restricting healthily. I used youtube videos about nutrition and weight loss to help me, I even downloaded myfitnesspal and started taking 20000 steps per day.Well you see going from eating 3000 calorie to eating 1200 kcal is NOT easy. It's been going good for awhile, but for the past 4 days I been started binge and purging. I hate how all I could think about is food, I missed the days when food never crossed my mind. I regret losing weight. I regret not asking for help. Am stuck because how in the hell am I going to tell my parents I have a eating disorder. Can some please give my advise????

If your a teenager and planning to lose weight, DONT DO IT BY YOURSELF. Instead try losing weight with the help of trusted adult. STAY AWAY FROM PRO ANA/ BULMIA WEBSITES, they got it ingrained to my brain that am fat if am over 100 pounds.

Sorry for grammar mistakes

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