Growing up I was always pretty thin (genetics + tall) but never fit or active. I hated exercise throughout high school and college, and as my sedentary lifestyle and love for Ben and Jerry's caught up to me, I gained 25 lbs in my first couple of years of college (around 2010) and developed a pretty unhealthy relationship with food.
The 9 years that followed were a wild, yo-yo ride of various weight loss strategies, weird restrictive diets, calorie counting, and attempts to get into a workout routine...
The eating disorder years (2011 - 2012): Eating lots of unhealthy food, drinking way too much, failed numerous times at getting into a work out routine. Tried running because it was easy to get into, but I hated it. Too shy to go to the gym because I had no idea how to use any of the equipment. This era was characterized by eating a whole pint of ice cream and then puking it up in the bathroom half an hour later. Not surprisingly, I didn't lose weight during these years.
The try every diet you've heard of years (2013 - 2017): Finally honest with myself regarding the fact that bulimia is a serious eating disorder and tried to find healthier ways to eat better. I started cutting out fast food and sodas, and eating more veggies. This helped a little but didn't budge my weight because I wasn't eating that much fast food to begin with and was still addicted to sugar. I began trying various diets - vegan for 4 months, Keto for 3 months, no sugar / no alcohol for 6 months, dairy free & vegetarian for 4 months, you name it. What I learned from these years is that restrictive diets can be effective, but I like baking, wine, chocolate, cheese, and cooking way too much for any restrictive diet to be a realistic lifestyle change for me.
Finally getting into exercise! (2016 - now): In 2015 I discovered rock climbing, which is a really fun thing to do that doesn't feel like exercise until after you've done it. I started getting stronger (zero upper body strength when I started) and had tons more energy. As I got more motivated to become a better rock climber around 2016, I started learning about other ways to become more fit. I started doing yoga, learning basic lifting, and I spent a lot of time climbing outdoors, which involves hiking uphill with a heavy pack on. I tried running again, and it was a lot more enjoyable with my hiking-strong legs and better overall fitness, which meant this I wasn't gasping for breath after two minutes.
The up down up down years (2016 - 2018): Climbing made a huge difference in my mental health and appreciation of fitness, but I still didn't know how to eat in a healthy way. When I started climbing obsessively I lost about 10lbs without really trying, but I was still ~15 lbs from my pre-college weight and hanging on to more fat in my thighs, belly, and butt than I would have liked. I started using MyFitnessPal to learn more about macros and calories, and learned that I didn't have nearly enough protein in my diet, and way too much peanut butter, carbs, and sweets. I started using MFP in 2016 with the goal of losing 15lbs, and succeeded through strict calorie restriction and LOTS of exercise. Unfortunately, as soon as I stopped counting the weight would slowly creep back up. I lost (then gained) 10-15 lbs at least 4 times using this method during these years.
Finding balance (2019 - now): Last year I lost 10 lbs w/ MFP and exercise and got into the best shape of my life in preparation for my wedding. After looking fly in my wedding dress, I was once again faced with the anxiety of gaining the weight back. I realized something had to change and started re-examining my approach to food and eating. I love cooking and my husband is a chef, so although it is effective, weighing and tracking everything I eat for the rest of my life sounds like a miserable way to live. A YouTuber (Pick Up Limes) introduced me to the idea of mindful eating, and my husband suggested intermittent fasting, which helped him in the past. Starting about 9 months ago I started to slow down my eating (normally extremely fast eater), chew more thoroughly, stop eating all my meals in front of the TV, choose foods that make me feel good, and give myself a chance to feel hungry before deciding on seconds. I decided I can't live without wine and chocolate, but I can choose to have these food be treats and indulge every once in a while rather than every day. I started a gentle IF schedule where I have a small breakfast at 10 am and don't eat anything after 8 pm. I still climb or lift 2 or 3 days a week, run a few days a month, and do yoga 4 or 5 days a week.
Much to my shock and surprise, for the first time ever, the weight hasn't come back after I stopped counting calories. It's been almost 9 months now and I'm still fit, energetic, loving my body, eating the foods I like, and not feeling hungry all the time. Every step in this 10 year journey taught me something important, but I am thrilled to finally feel like I can stop obsessing about food, exercise, and my body, and just live my life.
Progress Pics from Dec 2015 (~170 lbs, skinny fat) to Jan 2020 (155 lbs and stronger than ever). I didn't keep any photos from when I weighed 180lbs in college.
I've lurked for years but have been hesitant to post because 25 lbs over 9 years doesn't feel like much compared to what some of you all have achieved, but the fact that I've been able to maintain my happy/healthy weight for well over 8 months without strict calorie counting or an insane exercise regimen is HUGE for me. I couldn't be more thankful for IF, mindful eating, and this community!!
Thank you for listening to my story and I wish you the best of luck on your own journey!
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