Tuesday, June 2, 2020

Starting my journey

Hi all. Been browsing this sub a lot recently and first off, I just want to say that it is so incredible reading your stories, your accomplishments, and your updates. Gives me hope! In the most twisted way though, it’s SO intimidating to read stories about people who have perfected their eating habits and exercise routines in order to shred weight and keep it off. I’ve been telling myself “I’ll start tomorrow” for the past four years, but have never entirely committed myself to weight loss long term, and I think I’m finally ready to take that leap.

I am in my early/mid 20s, 5’6, and weighed myself for the first time today in YEARS because I have actually been too in denial to get on the scale. I’m 195 lbs, which paired with my waist circumference is simply just not healthy as a 24 year old woman. It is however, not entirely surprising.

I was incredibly active during my teens through athletics, specially swimming. I was teeny and actually never even thought about weight or my body image, because I was so in shape and had always done sports. I quit at the end of high school just in time for college, and developed some truly horrid eating habits while away at school. I consistently gained weight throughout college, and things also escalated when I moved home after graduation to save money for grad school. My parents (while once very health conscious) have essentially given up, and fill our house with unhealthy snacks.

We all enable each other with our snacking habits, and while I have stints where I’m very active and conscious of what I’m eating, I always ending up convincing myself that it’s too long a road. After a good amount of introspection, I think I’ve really come to rely on food as an emotional crutch and a hobby, but not in a healthy way. I LOVE to cook, and rarely touch fast food, but I just eat a lot and can always find an excuse to try new cheeses, pasta recipes, dumpling recipes, the works. I also do my research and I KNOW what’s healthy for me to be eating, but always end up blowing it at the end of the days with sweets and the piles of snacks in my house.

BASICALLY it’s time for a change. I fully recognize that. I’ve become an expert at rationalizing my behavior, but I’m pretty sick and tired of being unhappy with the way I look in the mirror and feeling “out of control” around food.

And what I’d like to ask you, people of this lovely sub, is to share your stories with me—not necessarily about how far you’ve come—but where you started and how you got (and kept) your sh*t together. There will always be part of me that wants to indulge and try new foods that aren’t the best for me, but really, I want to abandon the mentality that I CANT do this (all of you have done some incredible things, which truly inspire me), because I’ll never be younger and more capable than I am right now. If you have any words of encouragement, advice, or tales of your own, I’m all ears.

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