Hi everyone! Newbie here, and on mobile so apologies for formatting.
I am a 21 yo female (5’ 6) and my weight has fluctuated all my life. I’ve never been satisfied with my appearance, even though at one point I weighed 35 lbs which is my lowest ever.
Last year or so I was living at my university and regularly went to yoga, chugged water, ate veggies, and practiced intermittent fasting. I was probably around 145-150 but super toned and healthy looking.
My ex and I broke up and I was living alone in the summer (super broke = unhealthy foods) and was really depressed. Started gaining again.
Since I’ve been with my current boyfriend (we both struggle with our weight) I’ve gotten “relationship fat” because I’m so happy (currently 170 :( highest ever). (Don’t know if this matters, but my ex was a 6’4 skinny string bean and I always felt massive next to him- hence the weightloss.)
My issue is, every time I try dieting I usually starve myself until I like my appearance and then binge again. I have purged in the past and it’s always in the back of my head. I’ve lost all my muscle mass, so working out is extremely discouraging. I have no idea how to approach weight loss practically and safely. I also find it hard because I live with my boyfriends parents (his mom is a baker) and I feel like I have no control over my diet. This is probably just an excuse but I’m not sure.
Please help! Any tips would be appreciated.
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