I've been lurking on this sub for a while now and I wanted to post just to vent some frustrations I'm having this week. To start, here is a bit of history about my weight loss journey. I'm a 37 year old 5' 7" cisgendered man that has a large frame. I played football in high school, and I have always had a build like an offensive lineman. I have been overweight or obese for my entire adult life, but there have been times when I've been able to get my weight to levels where I'm comfortably in the overweight category.
By October 2020, quarantine habits had gotten me up to 235 lbs, so I decided that I was going to use the rest of this time that I had to work on myself. I set two ambitious goals: I wanted to be 185 lbs by my birthday at the beginning of April, and then I wanted to be 165 lbs by the end of the summer. I set a routine and changed a lot of my habits. I work out on average 6 hours a week doing a mix of cardio and strength training. I examined my diet and started to monitor CICO as well as doing IF.
The day before my birthday last week I got on the scale after my workout and saw 184.5 lbs! I was ecstatic to hit my goal. I then packed up to spend the long weekend with my family at my parents' house (everyone is thankfully vaccinated) for Easter. At my parents' house, I spent 4 days taking a break from my workout routines since I was away from my equipment, and eating with the rest of my family. It was very safe to say that my CICO was not ideal.
On Sunday afternoon, I got on the scale after getting back home and was horrified to see that I was at 200 lbs. Granted, I typically weigh myself for my "official" weigh ins after workouts, but it was still really disheartening to see. I've been back in my routine on Monday and Tuesday, and this morning I weighed in at 194 lbs (again, not an "official" weigh in, but from experience I'll probably be somewhere around 190 after working out).
This all has me feeling incredibly down on what my future looks like. While before I was feeling so confident on my weight loss goals and that I was going to achieve my end of summer goal, now I am getting nervous that even if I get to my goal that I'm going to be unable to maintain it after seeing the damage that a 72 hour lapse caused.
I've been spending the week focusing on my progress indicators outside of the number on the scale, like the amount of energy that I have, my progress pictures, and the fact that I've gone down from being a 38" pant size and XL shirts to 34" and M. But the reality is that the number on the scale is still having a psychological effect on me. I'm trying to take this in stride and use it for motivation that I have to make lifelong commitment to the healthy changes I've made in my life, but right now this week just sucks.
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