How To Be Okay Knowing I’ll Never Have The Body I Want

I know. No one has the exact body they want. Yeah. But I really never will.

I have to lose another entire overweight person for my height. I feel deeply ashamed everyday, all the time. No matter how much I try to be okay with where I am and work towards where I’ll be, I’m haunted knowing that I’ll never have that perfect, lean, extra-skin-free body.

I’ve already lost about 35lbs. It’s taken me about two years to do that because idk, I think I’m not as serious about losing as I think I am. I’m trying to get clear out of the 300s, and I keep creeping back into it. Even though I’m counting calories.

I get so down knowing that even after all the work. All the weight loss. I’ll likely deeply dislike my body. I feel like my weight happened to me without my consent, maybe that’s the part I can’t deal with. I was an overweight child, overweight teen, then lost most of it suffering anorexia and bulimia, then gained it back x ten, and then some more over the years. I come from a family that was extremely emotionally abusive when it came to weight and diet culture, and I’m just angry that I’m here and have to deal with this issue. But the only way to be happy will be to deal and get the weight gone, but I am bitter, over the way I look, my weight, and the way I will look.

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