So, I basically realized quite abruptly that I have put on more than 10 kg during the past two months (from 60 to 72). I am horrified. I knew that lockdown had an impact on my belt, but I did not expect it to be that drastic.
And the worst thing is that I did not realize until I saw a picture of my first day out with friends in ages. And now I am cursing myself. How could I have let this happen? Well, I do kinda know. I put all of my attention on my career (I have 3 jobs and I am writing a Master Thesis) and completely neglected my health, went through 2 family losses in a month, and generally used food to escape that deep, deep depressive slump (with obviously no effect).
I rushed to some tough love measures: I am doing a low cal diet ( around 1200 kcal, but I had days in which I was under 1000 - trying to avoid that), intermittent fasting, completely removed bread and refined sugars and I started working out online, despite being very, very bad (hopefully it will improve).
Still. I am constantly aware that I have never been so unfit and overweight. My weight fluctuated but never broke a certain threshold. Now it most definitely did -and by a lot! And it is ruining my life. I lost all of my confidence and I hate myself.
I keep thinking about it.I don't want to see or speak with people anymore. I struggle to focus on work. I am spending most of my free time looking at weight loss videos. I don't know how to stop, really.
Damn, I even had a dream in which my family kicked me out of the house and all my friends abandoned me because of my weight gain (I know it is very stupid and unrealistic, but this is what my subconscious is up to).
What can I do to like live again?
I just wish I never reached this point.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/3sL5KiH
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