I started my weight loss journey in August 2019 at 233 lbs and made considerable progress down to 187 lbs until I just gave up in March 2020. I've tried restarting several times since then, every time I find myself on my scale and seeing I've gained a couple pounds, or five pounds, or fifteen pounds.
I'm now at 217. My "fat" size 18 pants that I bought when I realized I couldn't wear my size 16 pants are now starting to feel uncomfortably tight and I know I'm really a size 20 again. I threw out all my size 20 pants because it felt like a crutch keeping them around. "What if I fail and regain all the weight?" But then why plan to fail? So out they went and now I need them again.
The biggest hindrance to restarting is that I loathe feeling hungry. Even though I had reached a point last time where hunger didn't even bother me anymore, there's something about knowing I'll have to work to that point again that makes me want to cry and give up before I even start again.
I also feel demoralized because I have to lose 30 lbs to get back to where I was a whole year ago.
I'm fueled by a desire to hold off on purchasing those size 20 pants again. Or gaining another 16 lbs, putting me right back where I started. I just want to lose 4 lbs in a month, or 1 lb a week.
Somehow it's even worse knowing I am capable of losing the weight but somehow won't go through the steps necessary to lose again.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2QictTZ
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