As per the title I am super in the dumps at the minute. I struggle with the mental aspect of weight loss and how to manage my feelings of messing up or how to contextualise things. I tend to go over the top and have a breakdown so would love some advice or help from anyone.
My story : started back in January 2020, was at 305lbs. Was about 225 around Xmas of that year so I lost about 80+ lbs. Was feeling great. Christmas happened and gained some back but around Feb I lost it all and then some, was down around 219, my lowest weight ever and feeling great.
This is where things get bad : long story short, lockdown in my country has been super bad so I've had no access to gym which has been a HUGE blow. I loved the gym and would go every day. So for months I didn't exercise a lot and I began half assing my diet due to the fact lockdown has been so bad and I haven't seen friends or family or had access to gym etc. Trust me it's been super difficult. So for two months I just maintained my weight. Not the worst right? I didn't lose BUT I didn't gain. But over the last three weeks I've been pretty reckless and eating a lot and just been careless. I didn't think I would gain back so much but I did and I can't handle it.
I know I need to cut myself some slack. Like I know I willingly did this and it sucks to admit that. I knew what I was doing. I just didn't mean to overdo it so badly and I'm so angry and disappointed at myself for going backwards. For giving up on my goals after losing a massive amount. I feel like I'm back at square one or like I'll never get to my goals. I know I can lose this weight again and then more again but I just feel like that's so far away and in the minute I'm feeling like a failure. :( going backwards and undoing so much progress makes me feel I'm on the verge of a breakdown. I'm very angry at myself.
Thanks to anyone who took the time to read my crazy rant lol.
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