Hey All,
I am writing this as both a cathartic experience and a way for me to stay focused and on track.
I have always been overweight my whole life. My dad comes from a poor Brooklyn family. His parents came from Ireland knowing firsthand what famine looked like. So food was no to be wasted and was basically precious. My mom came from the midwest and so food was love and was typically drenching in cheese or something similar. I was not allowed to leave the table until my plate was clean no matter how much they gave me. This severely messed with my perception of food. To this day, i feel incredibly uncomfortable leaving food on my plate. I feel downright furious when food is wasted in my house.
I was picked on a lot as to be expected in Brooklyn schools and so I found solace in food. Junk food in particular. Likewise, I didn't like to go outside much. There wasn't much to do for me in Brooklyn so TV became my best friend. The only exception was the weekends my Dad took me to our camp in the Catskills. I loved the outdoors, hiking, fishing, hunting. But those calories were quickly made up with junk food as boys do. I tried in vain a few times to lose weight. I'd go hardcore, cut calories like crazy and then crash hard into a pizza (my favorite)
This was the norm until high school. I was able to take a weight training class which got me really into lifting/strength training. I lost a fair bit of weight without even really knowing it. I was still overweight but healthier. This was also when I first threw my back out. I didn't know it at the time, but I likely bulged a disc. This stopped me from doing any core exercises for years.
Over the years I have tried to lose weight using every trick and gaget. Most recently, I have learned that I have not one, but two herniated discs. This makes my old lifting impossible. Add to that, I have a newborn, I have ballooned to my highest weight, 225 lbs.
I'll take any advice or support stories anyone would like to share. I am terrified of screwing up again because I can't take it anymore. I'm so worried my emotions will get the better of me and ill find comfort in food again. I have wrestled with depression and my current situation is the most stressed and exhausted I have ever been.
So here I am. Reaching out to this sub for support and catharsis. I am devoting this account to my weight loss and nothing else. I'm going to try to get involved to keep me on track. Right now I'm doing MFP (back on the wagon) as well as Fitbit, and Happyscale to help manage. I like data and can use it to my advantage.
Let me have it.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/3ws9Cb6
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