F/26/160cm
TL;DR: on Monday I will have been at it for 20 weeks. I've lost 8.5kg (18.7lbs) and several cm from all over my body. I feel AMAZING and I had to share with someone!
I've already shared my victory with all of my one friend, and refuse to share it with my very toxic family ("oh, that's all? You're still fat though. Don't worry, you'll gain it all back." etc, no, thank you.)
Starting stats, Nov. 23rd: 90.7kg (199.9lbs); neck - 37cm (14.5in); bust - 113cm (44.5in); underbust - 102cm (40.1in); waist - 99cm (38.9in); hips - 123cm (48.4in); thigh - 68cm (26.7in).
Current stats, April 10th: 82.2kg (181.2lbs); neck - 34cm (13.4in); bust - 102cm (40.1in); underbust - 93cm (37in); waist - 90cm (35.4in); hips - 110cm (43.3in); thigh - 63cm (24.8in).
I recently started strength training (started with 2kg dumbbells, I'm now at 3.5kg, EXTRAORDINARILY weak arms), went from 10 second plank + crying and 0 push-ups + crying to 45 second plank and 9 push-ups, no more crying! My overall goal isn't to lose weight, or to be a certain weight, it's to lose fat, so even when the scale doesn't go down, the cm around my body do, and I can feel myself getting more muscular. My daily exercise is walking: 1h total, at least, and mostly on the treadmill. I'm now at 6% incline, 4.5km/h.
The context for 20 weeks is, back in November, I thought I could easily lose 1kg a week, so by this time I would have lost 20kg. That...did not go as planned. 😂 What I failed to account for is that the less I weigh, the less I need to eat to lose weight + exercise, so after the first month or so it slowed down to about 0.5kg (1.1lbs) a week. There were maintenance days, bread eating days (bread is very, very bad for me. It makes me bloated for days, it makes me feel nauseated if I eat too much, but it's delicious and I'll accept the consequences.), Trash Panda days where all I could do was sleep and eat. Despite my stats, the biggest change of it all was my mindset.
Prepare your eyes to roll, because I'm about to say The Thing: it's not a diet, it's a lifestyle change. Of course, when I started off, it was going to be just a diet. I struggled and suffered emotionally and mentally for the first 2 months, I had moments when I almost cried, because I've struggled with an ED all my life, and most of all, I'm greedy. Admitting to myself that I'm a greedy person was the most difficult step, but once I did, something clicked in my brain, and overcoming it became... possible. Definitely not easy, but possible.
The source of my suffering and "secret" to my weight loss: portion control. Does the pack say one portion is 50g? Then one portion is 50g. Even though I'm used to eating 150g, and even though I really, REALLY want to make at least 100g. A portion, of course, was sufficient to make me feel full, but my brain really struggled because I kept thinking about "how little food that is". For example, I'd get a tortelloni pack, 250kcal-ish for half a pack. That was about 8 of them. The thought of eating only 8 brought literal tears to my eyes. After the sauce and the extra parmesan, it came to about 450-500kcal, and was, of course, enough. But it took me a very long time to get over how "little" of everything I was eating.
I don't have any other secrets or tips to share, just general "eat what you like", "everything in moderation", "there are no bad foods" kind of advice. I wouldn't say I eat healthily (maybe I do?), I just eat what I like, and most of the time that just happens to be healthy (a lot of salad, I love salad!, fresh pasta, vegetarian lasagna, apples for snacks, low kcal healthier-advertised crisps - again, I love the taste, and I'm crazy about lentil crisps in particular, I didn't pick them because they claimed they're healthy). Cut down pizza consumption to thin crust, every other week (as opposed to regular crust every week PLUS cheesy fries PLUS onion rings with the occasional chicken popcorn as well), replaced Mango Energy Drink with No Sugar Fruity Energy Drink (as a treat, not a daily thing). I make a perfect macros lasagna using soya mince instead of beef (love soya and tofu), most of my dessert is now high protein ice cream (love the taste, love the stats, hate the price), an apple, 1-2 rice cakes (the kind that taste like white chocolate, not the kind that taste like cardboard).
I suppose I do have one piece of solid advice, although I'm not sure if it applies to everyone or just to specific EDs: analyze why you're eating, what you're eating, and how it makes you feel. Did you eat a whole XXL pizza because you craved pizza, because you were very hungry, or because you thought and hoped it would make the bad thoughts go away? Afterwards, did you fill satisfied, too full, or full of shame and regret?
Ok, that's all, see you in 20 weeks! 😁 (No pictures because I'm still extremely sensitive about my body. I hate it a lot less, but I still hate it.)
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