Hello everyone! I really hope this is ok to post :)
I'm 23F - 1,57m (62,58'') - 102kg (225lbs)
I woke up this morning feeling so low, I had a terrible dream and my being fat was the main focus. Everyone I know had a paper with my weight gain from last year to a recent future, month by month. It got to an even heavier weight than I am right now. People were shocked by it and talked me down for that (my friends and family would never really do that, but in my dream they were really mean).
I'm one of those people who always has been a little chubby, the fat one in the class etc. So when I actually became obese in my late teens, my opinion of myself hadn't changed a bit. I'm sure many people here can relate.
Anyway, in 2018-2019 I was around 80-85kg, and I already thought it was time to take action. I started going through very strict weight loss plans (super strict Keto with meal replacements, Keto with food, 4hourbodyslowcarb), alternating with "normal eating" months. Of course, this meant that every time I would lose 10kg, I would regain 7 in the days I was eating. My lowest in that period was 77kg, but I would say that by September 2019 I was around the 85kg, stable. Yep, same as before.
The end of 2019 was really hard for me. Even before Covid, I started having problems in my work and binging more than usual (delivery apps are the Devil). At the start of the pandemic, In Mars, I wighted 94kg, a weight that was just unthinkable for me two or three years prior. Started going lazy CICO during lockdown, and it went kinda well. I knew I would't have been able to actually go on a diet all alone at home with absolutely nothing to do, but at least I could try not to gain any more weight. I lost about 2 or 3 kg before the summer, and did another cycle of 10 day protein only meal replacements when I went back to my home city. I know what you are thinking right now, stupid ah? I lost 7kg, was all happy about it, than came the summer and the drinking, restaurants and a whole lot of take away food. I of course took back the 7kg in the blink of an eye, and when I got back to work and school I really started to feel even lonelier and more depressed than I was before.
I'll make the story short. I am, as of right now, a depressed, procrastinating binge eater and I'm really starting to worry about my future. I plan to go to therapy, but keep procrastinating that as well.
The real reason I chose to this post, is not only accountability. This is the biggest weight loss platform I know, and I've been here for some time now. All through the last year's journeys at least. I am 100% sure that there is someone there who's feeling exactly like me, has my age, and similar weight and would like to be my partner in crime. I don't mean simple accountability, but choosing the same meal plans, trying to cook together and talk about ourselves... Someone whom I can understand well and can understand me well. I have friends, but none of them are overweight and would get uncomfortable talking about this. If you read all this and would like to give this a try, send me a message :) I'm in Europe btw (for the time zone :) )
I fear all this won't be accepted by the moderators, but it felt great to write.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/32GbY8O
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