27F 5’7 SW: 80kg CW:70kg GW:58kg, training for a half marathon
Hi everybody, it is my first time posting on Reddit, also English is not my mother tongue, so I apologize in advance for any grammar/editing mistakes.
Some background: I am recovering from an eating disorder, I have had an unhealthy relationship with food for more than 10 years. When I was younger I was very fit and thin, with the 90-60-90 measurements, but I was suffering from my ED. I was also doing a lot of sport, and competitions (synchronized swimming, gymnastic). When I started to truly recover from my ED, I had this period where I just didn’t care about my body anymore. I stopped being scarred of putting on weight and I just started to eat and eat, but I was still physically active, fitness training 5 times a week + cycling 15 km a day. I put on weight but it was muscles. But then 2020 happened, and I stopped any form of physical activity, but continued to eat. I reached my maximum weight ever, which was 80kg at the end of 2020. (I know this might sound ridiculous for some of you, and I don’t want to offend anybody, but for someone who was afraid all her life to gain even few grammes, it was hard to see that I was not even in a healthy BMI) For 2021, I decided that I couldn’t let myself go, but that I had to stop FINALLY my unhealthy behavior with food, and learn to be « balanced ». I decided to give myself some times, to not do extreme diet to not wake up some old demons, but to be careful of what I eat and to exercise like I used to. I decided to do intermittent fasting (16:8. I just skip breakfast), I am doing HIIT 4 times a week (40mins, with weights), I run 10k 2 times a week, and swim minimum 1000m (in 30 mins or less) once a week. I try to be active again, just as I used to, because I truly enjoy it. I also fixed myself the crazy goal to run a marathon in a year and half and a half marathon by the end of 2021. Please note that at the beginning of January 2021 I couldn’t even run 10 mins. But I guess as I was very sportive in the past, my body just went back to its « old nature » if I may say. I eat everything now, I am trying to learn to not put label on food « bad » or « good ». I love veggies and fruits, so I eat a lot of them, but I always did.
So, my question(s): well first of all, I think I just need the advices of other people who lost weight . I have lost 10kg, so it’s a steady lost of 1kg per month, but now I am just full of fears and bad thoughts. Is it normal that I have lost ONLY 10kg if I am pretty active ? Will I continue to lost 1kg per month if I continue this way? I feel like now that I have reach a healthy BMI, the weight loss will be slower or I will plateau, and I don’t know if I will be ok with that. I guess I just need some reassuring thoughts, I am afraid sometimes of going back to my old ED habits, sometimes I feel like I could do anything just to see my body shrink and the weight to go away, but I know it is stupid. So please, do you have any advices on how to lose the last 10kg? Any diet advices? Thank you in advance!
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