In 2018, through CICO, I was able to lose 110 lbs and get to my lowest weight since childhood. I felt amazing, looked amazing, and was happy with myself for the first time in a long time. I don't know what happened (I have a few theories), but late 2018 saw me lose any focus, motivation, or determination I had to lose weight or keep using CICO, and I've gained nearly 40 lbs since then. Things have been particularly stressful for me, including a strong dislike for my job, not being very happy with our current location and home, and struggling with communication and emotions in my marriage, which have just fueled my poor eating habits.
All of that is to say that I knew I had gained weight and looked different, but the family pic at my husband's family reunion really drove home how fat I look and am now. I'm embarrassed and pretty humiliated with how I look...again. I never thought I'd be back here, and it further fuels my insecurities. I wish I could figure out why I struggle so much with getting back on the wagon after doing so well a few years ago and what's so different with my mind and body now compared to then.
Feeling bad about myself sure doesn't help my emotional eating, and I know what to do and how to do it, but it's some sort of block that I have not been able to get past. It was originally seeing myself in a full-body mirror and in pictures that fueled by first weight loss, and I'm hoping it can do it again.
Edit - Title should say "in a picture".
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/3zITtzO
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