I'm 32 now, but the roots of this story date back 17 years to when I was 15 and in high school. I was chubby/big back then, though far from my 'peak' weight that I would reach 7-8 years later. Still, I was dating a girl (yes, I know, I was only 15) and it was going on almost a year at this point when a guy in one of her classes started hitting on her regularly.
I've been called fat before, my weight has been made fun of, but for some reason when he asked my girlfriend, "What does he have that I don't have besides fat rolls?" it stuck with me. When I was at my peak weight, I remember thinking that he was right. And clearly, it still burns me all these years later.
When I finally decided to take control of my own 'weight fate,' I'll admit that I used 'fat rolls' as motivation from time to time. Currently, as I trend toward 190 lbs, I'm at a weight I haven't seen since junior high, I'm wearing sizes of clothes that I haven't worn in quite some time, there's a lot to be positive in regards to the success I've had. But with all of that in mind, I happened to see this fella from the story in the grocery store not long ago. I don't know if he knew it was me, but I definitely knew it was him and I noticed that he's bigger than me now and even bigger than I was then (when the rolls comment was made).
I wanted to celebrate that, I wanted to revel in it. It's only natural, right? I'm not the type of person to hold a personal grudge, but this was a special case, and those negative thoughts were hard to push aside.
But after thinking on it a bit, the realization that I had: I'm not doing this for him. I have nothing to prove to him. He's literally been out of my life far longer than when he was in it, why still hang on to that negativity? Why be petty? I'm doing this for myself and for my family. I'm doing this because I want to be healthier and want to live to see my kids grow up and my grandkids way down the line. I've tried to remain as positive as I possibly can during this weight loss journey and getting hung up on this or celebrating in something as petty as that is disrespectful and uncalled or and no different than what he did to me all those years ago.
I understand this might be the most obvious thing you've read on here, but it really was a lightbulb moment for me. While I definitely cop to using what he said as motivation (and will continue to do so most likely), I never want to get to the point where I resort to that kind of nonsense, even to someone that has hurt me in the past.
Thanks for letting me share.
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