I am having a really difficult time right now, and struggling with how to manage it. I will try to keep this super brief:
I am about 100 lbs overweight, have been for 15-ish years. I CAN lose weight pretty easily, but I also get obsessed FAST. Where it is literally all I can think about and it's like there is no room left in my thoughts or my life to think about anything else.
In December, I finally stuck to CICO for more than a few days, where I tracked on MFP daily and lost about 30 lbs in 3 1/2 months. The weight loss was pretty consistent, with the typical stalls around shark week and random hormonal fluctuations. I didn't feel deprived because I allowed myself to eat what I wanted, just in controlled portions, as you do with CICO.
The problem is that during that time, I lost interest in everything else in my life. All my thoughts, goals, and plans were about losing the weight. I started adding more exercise, and kept lowering my calories to create larger deficits. I started at higher calories so I wouldn't be starving, setting my goal to losing 1lb a week first, then 1.5 lbs a week, then 2 lbs a week. I no longer cared about ANYTHING but what I ate or didn't eat, my workouts, and my body.
By the end of February, I was eating 1,000-1,200 calories a day "because it was so easy". Which isn't true, I just got addicted to the weight coming off and I wanted to do it faster.
So, then in March, I had my expected binge phase, which happens if you restrict too much.
It's weird because it's like I KNOW I need to eat more, I KNOW what the binge/restrict cycle is like, and I STILL do it. Every. Single. Time.
In the middle of March, I decided I didn't want to be consumed by dieting forever, so I tried intuitive eating, but that was a disaster. I'm just not ok enough with my body right now to risk maintaining or gaining weight, if you want the truth. It was mental torture, even if I enjoyed eating and not tracking.
LUCKILY (no idea how), I only gained 2 lbs in 4 weeks of not tracking and eating like I used to. So, I can get right back on track without feeling like I messed up all the progress i made, but I'm having a hard time doing it because it's giving me serious anxiety knowing how easily it became a horrible obsession before.
The main question is: How do you avoid being obsessed and consumed by your diet? Does it get better over time? Or is this just my life now if I want to lose weight?
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2UJ2s29
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