26/F/5'4ish/SW:210 CW:130 GW:115 lbs
I'm not entirely sure what I'd like out of this post. Support, maybe? I've been 'chubby' my entire life until a couple years ago when I became obese. I made many difficult lifestyle changes and went from 210 to 115 lbs. I followed CICO and a 1200 calorie limit per day. But I wasn't happy with how I looked so I decided to keep going. I was skinny fat but starting to see a change using weights.
Then I decided to go back to school last September and had surgery not long after. I gained 15 lbs since then. In all honesty, had I not stopped I would probably have kept losing weight to unsafe levels. I was obsessed with having thinner legs and with the number on the scale. I've had disordered eating in the past of binge eating and then starving myself but thought I was being healthy this time around. The people I knew didn't congratulate me like I see on here. For the most part I was asked if I was doing okay. They thought I was sick or something.
I maintained my weight loss for a yearish and now the stress of life is getting at me. My hair is even falling out and thinning (blood tests say I'm fine). Half of losing weight for me was so I could look better. I wanted to feel beautiful. Now I have to wear makeup because my eyes are two purple rings. Apparently that happens with age.
A friend talked to me recently because they were concerned with my weight loss. They said they'd had experience with eating disorders and that I wasn't being healthy. It made me realize that I don't know what healthy even is. I thought I was. There's so much conflicting information out there that I don't know if I should be eating raw vegetables or making elaborate salads or what. I was raised thinking rice + meat = healthy. I don't know what to eat anymore. I don't know how much I should exercise anymore. I just don't know anymore. Thanks for listening.
TL;DR: I lost a lot of weight then I gained a little back. Realizing now that my weight loss wasn't healthy and that I don't even know what healthy is. Is there a book or something I could follow?
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2FSfIs0
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