These past couple of weeks have been both amazing and incredibly stressful! I'm under 200lbs for the first time in 5 years, and feel more like myself than I have in quite a while. My relationship is fairing better, I'm more focused at work, I've gotten into a groove with my nutrition and exercise routine, and things are overall positive!
All of this is great, but I also have PTSD that's been flaring up a lot lately due to many of the positive stressors and changes in my life. It's kind of funny, because I had never thought of positive changes triggering my disorder, but having my therapist lay it all out for me kind of gave me a wake up call. I had been having a hard time focusing on everything at once, and so I decided to take a break from losing weight.
For the past week, I've been eating at maintenance, and knowing that for the moment I don't have to worry about how much I'm losing each week is helping me focus on the other aspects of my life right now. Like the new promotion I just got that has me doing work I sometimes do not feel qualified for (despite my years of experience and degrees, thanks anxiety!). The fact that my husband has started a new acting gig so I'm juggling more of the house work and pet care than normal. The fact that they restructured training at my gym, and now it's more convenient for me to work alone than with a trainer (which has actually been going great now that I'm getting used to it). The biggest current stressor is the fact that I'm flying for a conference next week and haven't flown in many months. The last time I flew I was over 250lbs, so I still feel like I'm not going to fit in the seat. I didn't even need an extender last time, so there's almost no chance I'll need one now that I'm over 50lbs lighter, but it's hard to get over the "fat" fears of flying that I developed after 5 years of being morbidly obese.
But I am working through all of these anxieties. And eating at maintenance for a while. Not relying on food for comfort, even in the midst of all of these stressors has been a challenge, but I'm doing it! I do plan on resuming my regular weight loss once I get to a more balanced place with the rest of my life. And I'm not intentionally eating at maintenance every day. I'm just allowing myself to eat UP TO my maintenance calories if it fits into my schedule better. So I am not completely abandoning my calorie counting or nutrition, but I'm being more lenient on what calorie goal to hit. In reality it's just as easy to still hit my weight loss calorie goal, but in my little disordered brain, eating at maintenance removes a stressor, so that's what I need to do for now!
[link] [comments]
from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2Mv6SVX
No comments:
Post a Comment