Sunday, September 8, 2019

My passive aggressive mother and my weight loss.

Let’s start with some background. I was always thin growing up and I was very athletic in high school. Once I went to college I stopped playing sports and over the years put on about 70 pounds through bouts of depression and some stressful jobs. My mom has hounded me about my weight every time she saw me. It never helped me lose weight and just made me more depressed about myself and my life choices because not only was my weight an issue but always telling me to get a better job even though I’m very happy with what I’m doing and don’t rely on them financially whatsoever. For the record I’m 29.

I’ve found a job in the same industry that I’m super happy with and have basically found a second family through where I work. A few months ago I finally decided to make a change in myself and my diet. I quit drinking, starting counting and went from 246 pounds to 209 pounds in about three months. Everyone in my daily life has been super supportive and tell me how proud they are of me and it really makes me feel great about myself and what I can accomplish.

My parents moved across the country a couple years ago so now I only see them once or twice a year. We had planned a vacation to all meet up where my brother lives (in another part of the country) and since I hadn’t seen them in awhile I was excited to show off my weight loss.

About a half an hour after we are all together my dad tells me how great I look (my dad is the best) and my mom says, “yep you look great Mosby4Life, but it’s so easy to lose weight when you are young.” And my heart dropped.

I had worked so hard to get to the weight I was that everyone around me could see it but nothing is ever good enough for her. Part of me pushed hard the couple weeks leading up to the trip because I just have this inner need to make my mom proud of me. I’ve kind of been on and off the weight loss wagon after the trip.

She ended also saying an hour later at dinner that when she was young she could lose 15 pounds at the snap of her fingers. GREAT thanks mom that really validates how much effort I’ve put in to changing my health and self esteem.

I’ve been pretty low contact with her since then for other reasons. It just seems like every choice I make in life isn’t good enough for her because it’s not the choice she would have made for herself.

I’m losing weight for ME and no one else. I know I can do this and I don’t need her gratification to do it. And if she can’t be supportive of my life then I don’t know how much of her I want in it.

30 more pounds to go!

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