Saturday, October 19, 2019

How do you combat the self-anger as you lose weight?

Pretty much the title. I've struggled with my weight all my life but with a wedding coming up I figured now is as good of a time as any to get really serious. I've been doing CICO, meal prepping, making healthy swaps, working out more consistently, all of that. And I'm seeing a difference! My waist is smaller, my thigh gap is coming back, my face is slimming out, etc. My fiance has remarked how he's seeing a difference which is so motivating.

But what I can't shake is the anger I feel for myself for getting to this point in the first place. Every time I look in the mirror and see something I'm happy with, I instantly notice the flab under my arms and will just poke and prod it in disgust or frown at my hip dips or the fat behind my knees. I started developing stretch marks on my stomach and I can't help but look at them and think "look what you did to yourself, that'll never go away and now you're flawed". Every single day, the moment I start feeling happy about my weight loss journey and, dare I say, PROUD of my progress so far, I almost immediately feel ashamed instead.

Do others feel this way? How did you overcome that feeling? Do I need therapy?

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