tl;dr Cake binge. Oh no! Wait, exercise & meal planning.
I've been doing great at weight loss, oh yeah. I was quite smug. A few weeks ago I factored in a daily exercise regime as well. I was looking very slim at the local slimming club last week. Many congratulations ensued. I felt very clever.
Then I went off the rails at the weekend. Things I ate, in no particular order: I scarfed down a whole pizza by myself in about 20 minutes and it wasn't even the smallest size. I made two different kinds of cake, some of it covertly while my partner was out. I ate the lot. Also I ate a lot of protein bars because I couldn't be bothered to look up recipes, buy vegetables, cook them and calculate and write down all their calories and macros in my annoying and labour-intensive food diary. Oh yeah, I ate chocolate as well. I ate all the chocolate out of my stash of baking ingredients and I ate all the cake out of the freezer. It was ... it certainly made a change from being on a diet.
I gained six pounds between Friday morning and this morning, Tuesday. Six pounds in four days. I actually weigh 153 pounds today.
Obviously this has set back my weight loss project probably by about a month and for a while there I wanted to hate myself. Then I realised a few things.
- I don't have to punish myself or starve myself to atone for the gluttony. I can just get back on plan with the healthy diet. Just get back with the programme.
- I'm so incredibly glad that I started daily exercise a few weeks ago because it gave me something to hang on to. I undid a few weeks of careful weight loss with that episode but the one thing I could not ruin for myself by eating cake was the bit of progress I've made becoming fitter and growing a few muscles. I still have strong muscles in my legs, those haven't deteriorated, and my triceps and pecs hurt because I use dumbbells now.
Today I thought about why I went off the rails and I think it's because I was finding the obsessive food-weighing, calculating and logging a bit dull and time-consuming. I had gradually stopped bothering to plan meals or shop for groceries. When I finally ran out of healthy stuff, I felt OK about eating everything unhealthy that I could find around the house.
Meal planning is back in my life now, as of today. I planned a menu of calorie-controlled meals for an entire week and then I ordered groceries. This should save me a load of time this week because I don't have to think about what to eat, just follow the calendar. Also because I don't have to count any calories at all. All the meals are pre-counted.
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