Thursday, October 3, 2019

I’ve lost 91 pounds and look so different, but it’s the little differences that mean the world to me.

My start weight was 230 pounds. I hit the 130s a few days ago. That puts me at a 91-pound weight loss at 18 years old. I look drastically different, of course. I’m no longer round and hiding all my rolls behind baggy shirts and leggings that awkwardly fit. I have an actual figure, and the words “petite” and “skinny” have been used to describe me.

So I’ve lost almost 100 pounds in 13 months. That’s a huge change! But I just noticed today that it’s the little things that are incredibly noticeable. Sure, to others, the biggest change is definitely the way I look, but to me, it’s the tiniest of things.

Stairs. I began losing weight early of last August. Later that month, I had a family emergency and my mom and I went to stay at her godmother’s house while we visited our sick family member. I live in a single-story house right now, so I don’t have to climb stairs, but my mom’s godmother let us stay in her guest bedroom upstairs. Now, I had already lost 10 pounds by this time, but I was still 220. That’s big. I also have asthma. Climbing those damn stairs at 220 pounds was a challenge. I could go down just fine, getting up sucked though! It wasn’t to the point that I had to stop at the middle landing and take a breather, but I was definitely short of all breath at the top. I had to do this several times a day because, well, I was staying there and all my stuff was upstairs. I couldn’t just hang downstairs all the time. And it was just ONE flight! Flash forward to today. A year and some months later. I got a job working in an Amazon facility. I have to consistently climb four flights of stairs each way to get to my station and then back down four flights to get to the break room. Several times a day. What a surprise to me that I’m able to do it with absolutely zero problems! I can even run up and down them if I’m in a hurry. And I’m never out of breath doing it! I also can walk a total of 21 miles in a week at the park.

Not worrying if I fit into a space. I was never HUGE huge, but I was definitely large and round. I took a trip in June 2017 and had to take a plane. Luckily, I still had an inch on the seatbelt and didn’t need an extender, but I was dangerously close! I took another plane ride this August and had at least a foot left on the belt!

Clothes. I wore the same stuff over and over at my heaviest because it’s tough to find cute clothes that would fit my 230-lb, 5’2 stature. I wore baggy tees and leggings all the time. I hated clothes shopping. My wardrobe was nonexistent. Once the weight melted off, I threw out my huge clothes (save for a few shirts I can now wear as dresses) and now my closet is bursting with bright colors and all types of different styles. In fact, I consistently have to donate clothes because my style is always changing now that I’m free to explore and wear what I want.

Compliments, intentional or not. I always got the “your face is pretty.” Nobody really ever said anything about my body, maybe because they were trying to be nice and not draw attention to it. Now that I’m a normal weight, I hear a lot of “you’re so petite!” and “you’re so cute!” Compliments flow in like a river. I don’t strive or try for them, but you can bet that it feels good when a coworker compliments me. I hardly ever received compliments at my heaviest.

So yes, I am literally half the girl I was before, but I’m twice as confident. It really is the small things that make it so worthwhile. Of course my health is the number one reason I lost the weight, but the little differences in my everyday life are important, too. No change is ever too small. If it impacts you in any way, it’s big. It’s important. Love yourself and all your changes. Not just the numbers on the scale or the progress pics. Everything.

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