I struggled to lose weight for many years. From 18-25 I weighed anywhere from 189-220lbs. I was 100% convinced food couldn’t help me so I spent thousands of dollars trying different fad diets.. I starved myself trying to get healthy by Forcing myself to drink protein shakes for meals twice sometimes three times a day in and off for 5 years. I’d lose a few pounds only to gain it all back.. Fast forward to 2018 I was 205lbs when I foolishly scheduled a consultation for Lipo (I was convinced id love myself the way I was if I took care of my double chin since I couldn’t lose the weight.... Obviously in denial about how big I was.
But first I asked my doctor to run tests to figure out what was wrong with meds why wasn’t losing weight through exercise and shakes? Lol... The tests came back normal so desperate I gave eating MORE food a shot and it worked!
The first 2 months I lost 20 lbs, the weight started to melt off! I was doing what every doctor has ever recommended, eat more meals, frequently. I ate every 2-3 hours. I started documenting my weight loss because I was so amazed eating whole veggies, carbs, protein, fruit, fats ETC would help me... because carbs are evil right?
I managed to lose 80lbs in 8 months over 100lbs total loss!
I’m so proud! I’ve kept the weight off for a year.
The issue is I still see that fat girl in the mirror. Anytime I start to feel better about myself, I look in the mirror or at a photo and remember I’m not as small as i think.. because I used to think I wasn’t as big as I was, and I ended up being so much bigger... arg. I don’t know how to dress my new body. When I do my makeup the same I look like a drag queen or I can’t help but to see the old me staring back at me. I am jealous of people that truly feel beautiful because it’s all I’ve ever wanted. I’m smaller than I’ve ever been and I feel more self conscious than prior.. People say I’m suffering from body dysphoria but I don’t know. All I know is what I see in my mirror isn’t the same as the photos I see of me. :( why can’t I see the new me? I want to love my body already, I fought so hard to get here. I inspire people to reach their goals daily and I support every person that comes to me for help because I know the weight struggle. I lived it. I was so overweight that my mom was afraid I would die in my sleep, because I couldn’t breath I’d wake up gasping. My acid reflex was so bad I’d wake up choking. I would fall asleep driving..... I know how hard it is because I’ve lived it. I want to enjoy how far I’ve come...
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2MreuqN
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