Hey guys!
I just felt like posting today in order to remind myself of my progress and also to share what I have learned! I have recently hopped back into my weight loss routine, but this time it is different. I'm not beating myself up when I eat Chinese food or a cookie. I am not crying in the bathroom and deciding "screw this I am going to eat everything in the fridge" whenever I go 400 calories over my goal for the day. I simply am allowing myself to have days where I eat what I like. foods I love into my plan on top of foods that I know help me stay on track. I lost 13 lb this month! It is working so well. Every day I think "I am so ready and excited to feel good wearing a crop top this December, I am SO CLOSE!", and for some reason it is finally clicking. That motivation is helping me make better choices every day, and it makes my occasional cheat day stay at just that, and. not. turn into 5 days of emotional binges. I want to fuel my body properly, I want to give it the love and nourishment I deserve.
Don't get me wrong, there are days where I go overboard. For instance, today I feel a little discouraged about what I ate. I just finished a crazy 7 week "semester" and my daughter had an ear infection, and I am straight up worn out. My friend brought us pizza. Then. my Dad brought a Latte and Chinese food. Then I had a cookie. Before this. would have made me feel terrible, but now I totally enjoy it, let sit happen, and then keep eating healthy and staying on track.
Because I have had a few days like this while losing weight, I have come to realize the biggest thing when it comes to losing weight (for me): It is okay, and healthy to have a day where you eat like crap, try to make it in moderation, but if you have a day where your eating is all over the place, that is fine! Enjoy it. Meet it with acceptance! Don't sit and think "UGH I am SO FAT, this SUCKS, WHY AM I EATING THIS?!"! And then, pick yourself up the next do and KEEP PUSHING YOURSELF. This is so important. You didn't "ruin" your entire plan to lose weight just because you got a little wild in the Crab Rangoons one night. You have to enjoy it, suck it up, and keep going, and oh my god, the weight will melt off!
I am saying all of this knowing full well that it is a hundred times easier said than done when you have been following a psychological battle with food your whole life, and if you are like me, who has always had an "ALL or NOTHING" relationship with food, you have to literally learn a new outlook, relationship, and way of interacting with food (lmao sounds silly, but seriously) in order for this to work.
I have never approached weight loss this way, and I could cry, because I feel years of binge disorders, anorexia, bulimia, being so pissed off about my weight and so confused on how to eat and love and nourish myself, just washing away. I finally feel free!
Thanks for reading this rant! Xoxo
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