I’m this guy https://m.imgur.com/a/ziss17e from r/progresspics. You can’t make text posts there, so I came here.
People were awesome and wanted to know in detail what I did to lose all the weight. So here, in way too many words, is what I did. I hope you can find something to help you with your goals.
A year ago, things were bad. I was in an unhealthy relationship with my ex and more importantly, a toxic relationship with myself.
I knew I needed a change from everything. So what did I do?
I moved to Vietnam.
The first couple months there were rough. I was still trying to clear a lot of mental clutter. It also didn’t help that I got into a motorbike accident and shattered my kneecap. It seemed my big weight loss goals would once again be put on hold. I’m sure you know how that is. You’re eating healthy leading up to your vacation so you can eat all the bad food you want when you’re there. And then when you come back home you’re still eating all the bad food. Or you’re trying to lose weight and then something happens like an injury and you wonder why you’re even trying in the first place.
So I decided to take a look at that. Why was I trying to lose weight? Three other times I had lost over 100 pounds, only to gain it all back every time. Maybe I WAS the overweight guy. Was it time to embrace that?
(Yes — I’ve gained and lost over 100 pounds four times in the last ten years. This post only details the 112 pounds I lost in the last ten months, hopefully the last time I’ll do that to myself.)
Since Vietnam had all the snacks and delicious food, it was sure looking like I was embracing being the overweight guy. And in a very accepting country like Vietnam, I didn’t feel bad about that. People liked me. Yes, I know it was mostly because I’m a white American male, but it made me feel good. It gave me the smallest boost of confidence, which was entirely depleted at that time. I only highlight this because you never know the impact of your kindness on strangers.
So after I started realizing, “Hey, you know what? I’m not that bad!” and after I had tried every new snack at least once, the only thing left to do was eat healthy.
Or at least healthier. Which for such an overweight guy wasn’t that hard. In Los Angeles, part of my weight gain could be entirely contributed to eating a gallon of cookie dough ice cream EVERY night. In Vietnam, ice cream like that is super expensive. So when I’d want ice cream in Vietnam I’d have to go get a chocolate-dipped cone from KFC. Also delicious, but MUCH smaller and WAY LESS calories than a whole gallon of ice cream. Even when I’d go to KFC three times a day for these treats, I was still consuming less calories that I was in LA.
And when that happens — even small changes like that — you WILL lose weight. I did.
At first, what worked for me was the thought of just eating like a regular person.
Who was a regular person to me? Just a typical 200 pound dude. (I’m not trying to fat-shame or debate what it means to be a “regular” person. But I was clearly eating for three or four people, not one.)
Egg baguettes (banh mi trung op las) and tuna sandwiches with extra mayo and white bread and no tuna don’t seem like the healthiest food. But they were “real” food and they were a start. Because I was so heavy, you’re damn right I started losing weight like that.
For at least the first three months, my diet was relatively the same every day. Although, I’d experiment and try new Vietnamese food any chance I got. But even then, I don’t think anything was loaded with calories like it would be here in the US. Also, it’s what I considered “real” food. Not junk food like ice cream or chocolate. So at the end of the day even if I was making a choice between real food and junk food, I was winning. And I’d still be losing weight.
So right of the bat I lost a significant amount of weight without even managing my diet. I just started easy, eating a little better than I had before.
Somewhere along the way I got into nature’s energy bar, bananas. I’d pop a few of these a day when I wanted a snack. They even lost me my phone.
Saigon had a great banana shortage during their new year holiday called Tet and on my journey to find just one single banana somewhere in the city and going to well over fifty stores, I got my phone snatched by motorbike thieves.
I still love you bananas.
Then one day I heard white rice is good for you on a podcast. So I switched from bread to white rice and would have Tuna Onigiris. And I stopped eating egg baguettes, cutting out bready carbs. I just felt like my body didn’t need those anymore.
I still allowed myself to try whatever I wanted. But without realizing it, I was slowly changing my relationship with food entirely.
I also realized that I was, in fact, emotionally eating.
I’d known that I’d eat when I was happy (I deserve this snack!) or sad (this donut will make me feel better) — but I had an epiphany:
Boredom is an emotion.
How many times are you eating just because you’re bored? Before making the connection that boredom was an emotion, I didn’t think I was an emotional eater. But wow. Most every time I’m eating is connected to an emotion, and not because my body actually needed food.
So anytime I felt the urge to eat something, I questioned myself. Why do I want to eat right now?
Was it because I was actually hungry and my body needed fuel? Or was it because I was bored? Or sad? Or happy?
And if it was emotionally based, I wouldn’t let myself eat. I’d start chugging a soda water instead. The bubbles give me life. I would pretty much only drink soda water and Vietnamese iced coffees, with extra condensed milk.
But as you’re beginning to see, a lot of my gains came from inside my own mind.
What were my workouts like?
I started with walks and podcasts. Exercising while feeding my mind, not my stomach.
When the weight melted off I automatically felt strong and FELT like I wanted to lift some weights. It wasn’t a thing that I was being forced to do. It was something that naturally became something my body wanted to do.
Even for lifting at the gym, I tried to be as easy as possible. 5x5. Strong guy. Whatever that’s called. That was pretty easy to do, so I’d feel good about doing it. And then since I was already at the gym, I’d be more likely to do more. But usually my routine consisted of only thirty minute workouts.
Then around 215 I started playing basketball again. Which was something.
Here’s another wrinkle in my story —
I was coming off tearing my plantar fascia.
And then when I moved to Vietnam I got into a motorbike accident and broke my kneecap. So me being 215 and playing basketball filled me with so much gratitude. A year earlier I could barely walk and was overweight. And now I could run up and down the court, albeit slowly. And I sucked at basketball. I could only focus on offense or defense. One at a time per game. And usually defense, because nobody wants to play defense.
But it was fun.
And that kept me going.
If a tree falls in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, does it fall? If an intense workout is fun, is it still an intense workout?
Lightly lifting weights and playing basketball, combined with eating decently dropped me to 200.
I thought I was done. I felt great. I thought I looked great.
But I just kept going living this newly acquired healthy lifestyle.
I started intermittent fasting around 200 pounds.
I listen to podcasts voraciously, so I’ve been well-aware of fasting for quite some time. It seems all the most successful people on the planet participate in some sort of fast. But it wasn’t until I befriended a French traveler in Bangkok for Songkran that I decided to really give it a try. He was the first person I met in the wild who was actually fasting. Weight loss benefits aside, I asked him how it made him FEEL. He said great and that answer convinced me to give it a try.
Fasting had also been on my mind because I thought it’d be easy for me. I never had an appetite when I woke up in the morning, so waiting four hours to eat something was not a big deal. And something I often did anyway. Hell, sometimes I wouldn’t eat all day and then after my serving shift gorge on all the food. So basically I had been an OMAD faster without realizing it. And without realizing that 5000 calories was not the proper way to eat one meal a day. It took another month to really convince myself. I was afraid of getting headaches, mostly. So I decided to take it slow. I’d eat anything I’d want, during certain 4-8 windows. I was also going to be in Singapore. Have you ever had Indian paratha and chicken curry? The most delicious meal on the planet. But since I knew I was having bread, I decided to go one meal a day as I walked around Singapore. Around 6, I would feast on two parathas and a heaping bowl of chicken curry. By the time I got back to Vietnam I was a fasting pro.
I had started playing basketball at this time two or three times a week. We’d play from 8-10 at night so I had to plan my fasts around that. Playing basketball in Vietnam is like playing on a professional NBA length court if it were also in a sauna. After those two hours, you’d probably had guessed I jumped in a pool with all my clothes on, not just finished playing pickup basketball.
(They were very organized about their basketball games. Games up to 15 by 1s and 2s, or 12 minutes per game. In those two hours, we’d play 5 games. So exactly an hour of basketball workout. Combined with the sauna aspect, I’m sure I was burning loads of calories.)
There were some nights after basketball that I’d get Vietnamese McDonalds at midnight because it was open and I knew my body needed the calories. What a switch from knowing my body definitely did NOT need calories from another midnight McDonald’s run, but doing it anyway.
When I knew I’d be getting late-night McDonalds, I’d still be fasting. I wouldn’t have eaten until 4pm that day. And if I ended eating around midnight, that means I couldn’t eat until 4 the next day. But that next day would only be a 4 hour window so the NEXT day I could be back in a 12-8 fast. (In a span of three days: 16:8 - 20:4 - 16:8.)
So the beginning of May 2019 is when I started fasting. I was hovering around 200 pounds. Plateaued. Fasting helped me pretty quickly get down to 182.
Which I thought was great.
And from there I just kept on doing it because I felt great. Fasting had truly become a lifestyle.
Now? I’m 163 pounds and more importantly — maintaining.
What do my days look like now?
I’m back in Los Angeles.
I still walk at least thirty minutes a day. I don’t even force myself to do it. I enjoy it, and I genuinely look forward to it every day as a treat. And that’s a complete mindset shift.
I play basketball and boulder three times a week. These are high intensity workouts and guess what? I never feel like I’m working out, because they’re fun.
I lift weights once or twice a week, usually after a basketball or bouldering session. And the exercises I do are geared towards become a better climber.
I write a lot. Usually my walks are to Starbucks, where I indulge in a Trenta Berry Hibiscus, followed by a Trenta Cold Brew in which I put french vanilla creamer. And yes, I carry around vanilla creamer.
I go through ten cans of soda water a day. I LOVE soda water. The bubbles are so refreshing. I used to love Coke. And Sprite when I quit that. And then I discovered I got the same satisfaction from soda water because it was always about the bubbles. The more carbonation the better. Kroger brand Lemon-Lime for the win. (And I’ve tried them all.)
My lifestyle is about getting everything I really want and cutting everything else out. To get to this point I had to be really honest with what I really wanted. And I’m still figuring that out.
I still fast. Usually I eat from 12pm to 8pm.
I eat too many ThinkThin bars. Brownie crunch, to be exact. These taste like candy bars and have a low GI, so they help cravings. Although, I’m in the process of cutting these out for real food. I like the convenience of bars. I’m trying to substitute hard boiled eggs for these bars. I eat one or two bananas a day.
And then the rest of my diet is largely based around what’s on sale at Ralph’s. I’m a big sale guy. And a big convenience guy. So I often find snack packs of cheese, fruit, and nuts 50% off. I also find salad bags or sautéed veggie bags for 75% off. I get a lot of those and then add in some sort of meat, like tuna, chicken, or salmon depending on — you guessed it! — what’s on sale.
I don’t eat many processed carbs at all right now. But if I was given some bread I’d eat it. I just don’t crave it anymore.
More importantly, I promise you I eat whatever I want. But since my relationship with food has changed, so has my appetite and cravings. I got hummus the other week because it was on sale. But then I needed something to dip in the hummus. I was thinking I should go with a veggie because I love veggies now, and green beans happened to be on sale. So, for the next week my snack was dipping raw green beans in hummus and it was delicious. I’d actually crave it. Also, when your body is using food properly as fuel, a little bit of food goes a long way. I’ve never been into nuts, but now I love almonds and even a few of those give me such energy. It’s amazing.
I had free Pizza Hut last week because the Chargers made an interception. And you better believe I tried the new Cheese-It thing. But I also shared and didn’t eat the whole thing. I try to have an abundance mentality now. I don’t need to eat all of something right now. It’s not now or never. If I want more, I can always get it again.
This is what I ate for lunch today:
https://m.imgur.com/gallery/51CGUPo
Told you I eat what’s on sale haha.
Key takeaways and general thoughts:
80-20 principle.
Apply this to your life to figure out what you really want. And then to figure out what is holding you back. If you’re like me — and I bet a lot of you are — it’s our weight that holds us down. Literally. So if we dedicate complete focus to that and make it a priority, EVERYTHING else in our lives will get better. Our weight produces the most pain to our relationships with ourselves and others. I want to be a successful screenwriter. I think I’m a very good writer because I know I work at it and I write movies I’d love to see in theaters. But people wouldn’t know because I don’t put my work out there. I don’t put myself out there because I was ashamed of my weight.
Perfectionism.
Things are never going to be perfect. How many times have you said you were going to start dieting today and have the perfect plan in your head but one little thing goes off and then you tell yourself you’ll start tomorrow?
Me. Too.
But you know what? That doesn’t help. All your ducks don’t have to be in a row. Just start. And I GUARANTEE one day you’ll end up looking back and realizing holy quackamole, all my ducks are in a row!
Podcasts and walks!
Two of my favorite things right now. Walks are scientifically proven to do all sorts of things for your mind and depression. And podcasts help you learn and grow and just generally a good voice to have in your head, instead of the one you currently have that keeps you eating when you’re bored or happy or sad.
Patience is key.
Time is going to pass anyways. If you’re so lucky, you’ll be alive in six months anyway. Would you rather be right where you are or somewhere new, wether physically or mentally?
Somewhere along the way I learned to stop discouraging myself. I realized it was no longer helpful. For instance, when I returned from Vietnam I went back home to Boston. I made a list in my Notes app of everything I couldn’t wait to eat. And I was ok with it. I accepted it. So I ate it all. But I kept fasting while doing it. And when I got something like a pizza, instead of eating the whole thing like I wanted to, I shared it. Still tasted just as good and half a pizza makes you feel just as full as a whole pizza, without the added calories and sickness that accompanies it. By the time I got to Maine I was eating Whoopie Pies. Even those, I’d have half and share the rest with my sister. I genuinely just wanted to savor them. By practicing such a healthy lifestyle for so many months I had finally got rid of that pesky pest Gluttony. And it felt good.
Did I gain some weight? Of course I did. About ten pounds.
More importantly did it set me back? No. I got right back on the horse. And it felt great. Traditionally, this is where I messed up. Vacations were always about food. What delicious things could I overeat? Even if I had lost significant amounts of weight before a vacation, the act of eating such bad food on my trip would send the seesaw back the other way and when I got back from vacation I’d keep up my vacation eating habits. There was no balance. I was all in, whether it was eating well or eating poorly.
This time was different. I accepted that I chose to eat a bit poorly during my trip. And with that acceptance I knew I could get right back on the saddle.
And how did I know this?
Because I faced my fears. Which fear? The scale.
Before, anytime something like this would happen I’d never actually weight myself to see the damage. What I didn’t know couldn’t hurt me. This time, I wanted to know.
I gained ten pounds.
Wow. Not bad over three weeks. Could’ve been way worse.
But I also knew that wasn’t the direction I wanted to be heading, so immediately started eating right again. And since then and without much thought, I lost everything I had gained including an additional seven pounds.
I realized that before I was sabotaging myself, so now it’s something I am mindful of. Is this really something I want, or is this an act of self-sabotage?
And even now, I still sabotage myself. Remember my love of soda waters? I drink them right before bed. So instead of falling asleep peacefully, my bladder keeps me awake the next two hours. As someone who’s struggled with insomnia, that’s a bit of self-sabotage. But I don’t beat myself up about it, and that helps. All things considered, I’m doing pretty well.
I’m most proud of going back home for three weeks — and eating all my hometown food that I’ve craved for years — and not letting that pull me back the other way. Traditionally, vacations have been the death of my diets. I’m always good about losing twenty to forty pounds before a vacation. But then starting on vacation I gain 40-60 pounds. One step forward, two steps back.
But deal with one problem at a time. The biggest problem. Which was and still is my weight.
Make things easy for yourself to get started. If you want to be a 200 pound individual, eat like a 200 pound individual. It’s simple math. Calories in, calories out. I kept that in my head. If I eat like a 200 pound man, I will eventually BE a 200 pound man. I didn’t put a time limit on it. I just started being.
Get rid of distractions/Keep stuff out of your house.
I never made food in Vietnam because it was so cheap to eat out every meal. But not having snacks and food in my apartment really helped me.
I know I can’t keep a box of cookies in the house because if I do, I’ll eat the whole box. In like twenty minutes. So it’s best to not even have it in your house.
There have been times when I’ve craved something — I’m a sucker for Keebler Rainbow Chip Cookies — and even then, had a six or so cookies and threw the rest out. I know it’s extreme, but sometimes that’s what it takes to quit.
I can’t blame it on the alcohol.
If you’ve noticed, I haven’t talked about alcohol. That’s because I don’t drink. I never have. My vices have largely been Ben and Jerry’s. I suggest teetotalism for losing weight. I live a teetotal lifestyle and I share my stories over at my blog. Feel free to check it out. I won’t link here because I don’t want to promote anything, but it’s called Teetotally Awesome. It’s relative to weight loss because over there I show how you can still have fun and live an interesting life without drinking. And if drinking is holding up your weight and you couldn’t imagine giving it up, maybe my blog can show you another way. I don’t care if people drink or not. I think everyone should do them. But, if you’re thinking quitting drinking will help your weight loss goals and need some tips how to live a teetotal lifestyle, feel free to check out my blog.
More thoughts on fasting:
I wouldn’t have fasted if it wasn’t easy for me. I never have an appetite in the morning so not eating meant nothing to me.
Fasting was a great tool, but also only part of the solution to my weightless. I also started it at such an invaluable time. Probably the perfect time. I had tried Keto before during other weight loss attempts, but it felt really restrictive and would never stick.
Also, soda water deserves a special place in the IF hall of fame.
Find exercises that work for you:
My favorite exercises? Ones that aren’t exercises. Because they’re FUN.
When I play basketball, I work up the biggest of sweats. In Vietnam, it looked like I jumped in a pool with all my clothes on. But nope — I was just playing basketball.
The thing is — I love playing basketball so while I’m playing, I don’t ever THINK about how hard it is. I just do it. I’m present.
I’ve also discovered I love walks and podcasts. But I hate running. Is it a good exercise? Sure. Is it for me? Nope. The second I start running, I start asking myself “Why the hell am I doing this?!” And then I stop after a block. And since it’s not easy, and it’s not fun, I’m not going to do it the next night.
Maybe dancing is fun for you. Or swimming. You might have to give lots of things a try.
One thing’s certain — you will like exercise the more weight you lose. When I first started losing massive amounts of weight, I didn’t do much exercise. I started as low impact as possible, listening to podcasts while taking walks.
Then when I felt like I could start playing basketball, I did. Then when my body naturally wanted to get stronger, I started lifting weights. Now, most of my strength gains come from climbing. And any weightlifting exercises I do are targeted towards muscles that will help me become a better climber.
Don’t be afraid to try different things. It’s all about finding out what works for you, and it never hurts to try.
Make your weight loss a priority.
I didn’t have to worry about anything in Vietnam. The people there are amazing and everything is so cheap. I didn’t have to worry about anything, especially money. I could just be present in doing whatever it was I was doing. And the biggest thing I wanted to do was lose weight. Even if all I did in a day was eat healthy and a bit active, I knew I was making forward progress.
If you have a significant other, explain this to them. I know it’s tough, but it has to be a priority. You have to love yourself before you can love somebody else.
You can do it.
If I could do it this last time, then so can you. I had gained back over a hundred pounds three times, and here I was tasked with having to lose over 100 pounds AGAIN.
Maybe I had been wrong about myself. I kept telling myself I was supposed to weigh less, but I never stopped to ask if maybe I was SUPPOSED to be the big guy. If this was really me. Should I just embrace myself?
Now my story is I’m a guy who feels good about himself. And wants to spread love and help others.
If I could lose over one hundred pounds four times, you bet your ass you can do it once. We’re all capable of such remarkable things and lots of times you don’t even know it until you do it.
Just do it.
I almost wrote do it for you here. But in truth, that’s not necessary.
I’m doing it for me now, which is important. But when I started losing weight I’m not sure it was for me. And that’s ok. The important thing was I started.
Maybe you want to lose weight for a boy or for a girl. Let whatever motivates you to start to get you started.
You can be anyone and be overweight.
Weight doesn’t discriminate. Doesn’t matter if you’re tall or short or smart or slow. You can feel like you’re brimming with potential but no one will ever see it because you’re ashamed of your weight. You can be anyone.
How do I feel now?
I feel like myself again.
I feel in control and autonomous again.
I feel like I can do anything. Posting so vulnerable like this makes me super uncomfortable and is one of my worst fears, but I’m doing it. Losing such massive amounts of weight is one of the hardest struggles, as I’m sure you know. And instead of discouraging myself up for gaining all that weight in the first place, I’m changing my mindset and looking at the VICTORY of losing it all. Beating yourself up isn’t helpful. Loving yourself and others is.
What now?
I’d like to keep it off, and I’d like to help people in any way I can. Like I said, there’s much more to my story. This is the 4th time I’ve lost over 100 pounds, but I’m adamant it’ll be my last. It’s time to start learning from my mistakes. And the shame and guilt with being overweight can be paralyzing and painful. I don’t want to live in crippling fear anymore. We live once and we should all live the lives we want to live. I truly believe we’re all capable of change and being extraordinary.
Good luck and good eating, everybody!
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