Monday, October 21, 2019

[Rant] How Do You Deal with Your Insecure Significant Other?

Hello everyone, this has been bugging me for some time, but here is my story. My husband and I were both emotionally abused by our families, so when we finally left them to start our own family, we ate everything we had ever wanted. Thus, we put on a lot of weight and decided to begin a weight loss journey about 2 months ago. With strong determination, I quickly dropped from 200 lbs to 163. However, my husband wanted to keep his previous bodybuilding progress, so he just eats when he feels hungry, then occasionally goes to the gym for a few hours. He went from 246 to 223 today. Anyway, whatever works for him is good, I guess. The issue is he tends to refuse doing exercises with me (either stretching at home or walking one or 2 miles at the park), and he wants me to do what he does (controlling issues?). Two days ago, he was sort of napping in the evening, so I asked if he could walk the dogs with me while getting some of his calories burned off as well. He (kind of rudely) told me to leave alone because he needed his sleep, but because he did not do any exercises that day, I tried to give him a harder push and ended up leaving angrily by myself after telling him he was such a mood killer. Before I got to the park, i stopped by to get some gas, and the gas attendant complimented me: " Wow, you must work out a lot. You are beautiful!". That made me feel great that someone I do not know noticed my progress. After that, I finished my jogging, went home, and told my husband the whole thing. Guess what he said? He said this: "He probably just wanted to f*ck you. You were emotionally abused, so now you are eating up that compliment like a homeless person eats up garbage!". I was filled with rage, but tried to keep it down thinking he possibly did not get enough sleep. Since that day, he has been acting even worse. He seems to be looking for every possible opportunity to make me upset and binge eat back to my old self. Of course, my determination will not let me do that. Still, as I get more and more in shape, I think he grows more insecure and controlling. Today, I was talking about making fruit salad while changing my clothes, but he wanted to have sex, so you know it, I was pretty sure he did not even care about a word I said. As he began to touch me, I said this: "Oh, so all of my effort losing weight is just to help you sexually please yourself more. What I wanted to share does not matter anymore, does it?". He got mad, told me if it is not me, then someone else will definitely f*ck his "magnificent self", and stormed out. I ended up crying for a few mins, but I am more stable now. Anyway, sorry for the rant, but I really do not have anyone to turn to...

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