Struggling without snacks, hangry, and mad at myself for putting the weight back on... any support/advice appreciated.

Hi all!

First time poster here, but no stranger to the weight loss game (I use the term loosely because it definitely isn’t fun lol).

So a bit of back story: I am a 25F 4’11” and currently weigh 134 lbs. When I was in high school I was always around 100 lbs (of course, because I was a child).

Once college hit I really took that freshman 15 and ran with it, by the time I was 20 I was 150lbs. It took a while, but I started going to the gym, and eating better but at 22/23 I was 120 lbs, which I think is around my ideal goal weight that I’d like to maintain.

My actual GW is probably around 115 but I want to be more realistic, and I’m trying to focus on looking and feeling good rather than the number on the scale.

Anyways, in the last year I’ve gotten into a new relationship and we moved in together, I’ve been stressed with work, and my diet and exercise really fell off. We are pretty active in the summer when we can be outside (we're in Canada so winters are cold and dark). We hike, go for bike rides, walks etc, but other than that I’m not insanely active.

I have been so depressed as I’m creeping back up to 150 and I feel like a failure. I’ve put on 15 lbs in what feels like no time at all. It also doesn’t help that my boyfriend can eat whatever he wants and stay skinny, he's around 5'8" and floats around 125-140.

I’m just having a hard time with food. I’ve been tracking my calories (using MyFitnessPal) and it’s saying I should have 1200 per day. I have been doing okay and staying under the goal cals 90% of the days, but I find myself constantly thinking about food. My biggest struggle is that I’m not able to snack. I’m a snack fiend and usually eat multiple times during the day. I’ve been trying to drink tons more water (2L per day) but nothing seems to help curb my appetite.

Another thing that’s been discouraging me is that everywhere I’ve looked, since I’m so short my “healthy weight” is somewhere between 88-115 lbs. I am not a super thin girl. I have curves, a pretty big booty, and D sized breasts. To me this feels so far away and unattainable.

I guess I’m just looking for any kind of motivation, advice, anything. I’ve been having such a hard time and my self image is completely shot...plus I’m hangry all the time.

Thanks in advance everyone!

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