I’m very obese. I was 347lbs on July 3rd, an as of yesterday I was 280lbs. I’m 177cm. I was diagnosed diabetic in July, so started off low carb, no sugar, cut out junk food and portion controlling and walking 30 mins a day. From July 3rd to August 7th I lost 9kg. My doctor then put me on Saxenda, it’s an injection to assist with weight loss and I am currently still on it.
My appetite was reduced a lot, and I began to eat a lot less, the first few days maybe like 1000 calories. I joined a group for Saxenda and saw a comment that said “you won’t lose weight on 1200 calories, you need to eat 800 calories”. So I started doing that basically. Well, I decided to never go over 900 calories to start, and it was quite easy as my appetite was also reduced by Saxenda. I would panic about going over 900 and think it would ruin my weight loss and make me get fatter again.
It was working well and my doctor was super impressed with my weight loss, and it made me feel good. She doesn’t know how little I’m eating.
The last month or so (maybe longer, I can’t exactly remember), I’ve reduced even more. I probably eat between 600-800 a day. I constantly worried that if I eat any more than 800, it will stop my weight loss and lead to me becoming more fat. Like, I know it’s irrational, but I can’t bring myself to eat any more than 800. Even when I get to 800 I feel I’ve failed, sitting at 600 makes me feel better.
The last few weeks I’ve suddenly become incredibly fatigued and weak. I get weak just having a shower and have to sit down. I get super light headed and dazed nearly every time I stand up. I’m just so tired all day and can barely function. I haven’t been walking like I used to because I’m just too fatigued. I’m still losing quite a lot of weight though.
I know this is likely to do with my lack of eating, but I still can’t bring myself to eat more. I don’t want to gain weight, or stop losing weight how fast I am. I’m also worried if I don’t lose as much as the last checkups, my doctor will be disappointed (next visit is in a week).
But I also feel stupid, I’m obese and it would be silly to have an eating disorder, I do need to be eating less. But it’s like, I can recognise my behaviour and thinking is kind of dumb, but I also agree with what I’m doing and think it makes sense? I don’t get how I can think both. I just keep thinking back to that Facebook comment about how you can only lose weight on 800 calories. Like, I know others do it on more calories, but I just can’t seem to shake the idea I need to eat 800 or less for it to work.
I do have some mental health issues and started seeing a psychologist recently (only 1 session so far and I definitely didn’t bring any of this up. I have a lot of pre-existing issues that we talked about not related to weight) and taking Lexapro, the last 3 weeks, so I wonder if Lexapro is also contributing to the exhaustion and maybe I’m bowing this “eating disorder” idea out of proportion.
Anyway, I don’t really know what to gain from this post. I guess just wondering if anyone else has had similar issues, and what happened to them in the end?
I should note, I’m still on Saxenda and this has helped as I don’t feel as hungry. I think the dosage I’m on is wearing off its effectiveness as I have started getting hungrier recently, but I don’t give in to that. I know, I know when I come off this medication I’m probably gonna relapse. Like, I’m aware of this but I a part of me thinks I won’t and thinks it is all okay. Idk, it’s weird.
Thanks
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