I always read and never post. I felt like writing out an overview of my journey today just to lay it all out. I don't talk much about my weight loss, except to myself in my head.
Height: 5'5"
HW: 243
Age: 22
I lost my only sister in March due to gun violence. I didn't want to open with that, but there it is. Towards the end of her life, she always encouraged me to eat healthier and abandon the fast food habits that we were raised with. I never really listened. Food is simply too good, exercise is annoying, and I figured I had "time" to fix my weight in the future.
I'm very all or nothing when it comes to weight loss. I was always an overweight kid. I've done crash diets all throughout high school, joined sports teams, and when it didn't work I decided to be fat (and happy) forever. Fast forward to 22, I am squeezing into my men's large shirts wishing that I could be my high school "fat" weight of 160-170.
After a month of eating my grief, I started my weight loss journey mid-April 2019. I kicked it off by buying myself an Apple Watch and convinced myself that the impulse purchase wasn't frivolous because the watch would help me lose weight. It was a decent justification. The watch helps me track my day-to-day activity levels and time my running workouts.
I went HARD. Jogging multiple times a week, running two 5K races, and aiming for daily intake at 1200 calories (almost always went over due to Noom adding my Apple Watch activity calories). I also experimented with IF. I went from 243 to my lowest of 211.6 on June 12 for a total loss of ~32 pounds. My clothes finally fit me. I started taking/posting pictures of myself for the first time in forever.
Great, until I went on a 2-week Europe trip where I ate *everything*. I honestly tracked during the first week but by the time I had come home, I quit my healthy lifestyle. I spent the rest of the summer with extended family eating more junk and reverting my progress. Yet, I was terrified to step on a scale to see just how badly I had undone my weight loss. I felt my clothes getting tighter again, didn't need a belt on my pants anymore, and felt my double chin returning again. Still, I felt like I needed to be eating all day to be satisfied.
I decided that I was sick of being unattractive and needed to get this shit under control once and for all. Facing my fear, I weighed in on Sept. 21st at 226.2 pounds. Thinking, "Wow, I guess I didn't undo *all* of it." Just +15 pounds from my lowest weight.
I proceeded with CICO for a week, stepped on the scale again (Sept 27th), and was at 216.4. 10 pounds of mostly water weight gone, so I'm now 5 pounds from where I left off in the summer. I was ecstatic.
Then yesterday, I weighed in at 215.2 pounds and I am not mad at myself at all for only losing 1 pound this week. Slow progress is still progress. I'm trending downward, at least! I didn't gain back my first-week woosh of 10 pounds. Right now, I'm looking at the loss as more of an average of 5 pounds for my first two weeks which makes my 1 pound loss this week much more satisfying. I also jogged 3.1 miles 3 days before my latest weigh-in and was still kind of sore so I probably retained a bit of water.
Every failed attempt at weight loss throughout the years has helped me prepare to get to this point. If I stick with it today, I will be closer to where I want to be in a month, guaranteed. If I don't stick to it, I will binge eat copious amounts of junk for a month while thinking of what my progress could have been.
I also learned that I probably shouldn't eat back all of the exercise calories that my Apple Watch adds for me. I've been eating 1600-1800 calories a day and still falling within my daily intake goals, according to Noom. However, I'm now going to aim for 1200 a day and hopefully fall under 1500.
My new goal is to stick to CICO until Thanksgiving and allow myself to not track for that meal/day, then jump back on the loseit train the next day.
One final note, I realized that I do this thing where I fall asleep, wake up to use the bathroom, and have this extreme urge to eat instead of going right back to sleep. One night, I had a bowl of cereal with a banana. Another night, I ate 3 mini Reeses cups. I have been tracking those calories into my next day's allotment.
Thanks for reading, I hope y'all have a good day and continue to make smart health decisions.
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