Thursday, April 8, 2021

24F, Lost 45 pounds already, Struggling with Anxiety

Hi Everyone,

There is no real point to this other than me getting my thoughts out. I over indulged over the weekend, my weight is still up, and I just feel shitty. I have a wonderful new job, but learned that my team orders lunch daily from Chinese restaurants or pizza chains. I know that this is rude to say, but even with my weight where it is now I am one of the "slimmer" people on the team... which concerns me. Everyone is so nice and helpful, but I'm worried about how things will change when I am in the office (I'm remote for now due to covid), and actually have to reject their food offers.

On top of that, I just don't know how I will ever be comfortable in my skin after losing the weight. I look back at pictures of myself when I was even lower than my goal weight, and I still see issues... I still remember how low my self-image was, not that it is any higher at this point. I just don't know how I will be able to sustain my losses, it never feels like I value myself like how I should. Before anyone asks - I am on an antidepressant, and I am in the search for a therapist. I know that weight loss will not fix my problems, I just want to be in a healthy body that I like.

I just feel emotional today, I don't know exactly why but I needed to get this out. I'm sorry that this is not directly related to weight loss

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