So, I was recently diagnosed with BPD and a binge eating disorder. I have tried every way known to man to lose weight - I excersied heavily for three continuous months and ate a calorie defeciet (but never saw any change in my body despite my clothes feeling looser, I just could not accept that there was an improvement, even with proof) I've purged, starved, implemented punishments, tried illicit drugs and still I just can't seem.. To get any better.
I'm struggling to get back into excersing, and my relationship with food is so toxic. I starve, or eat well and then binge until I am uncomfortable or fall into tears. I've started therapy but can't afford the $230 + to see them regularly enough. I seriously don't know what to do, or how to fix my brain so that I can love myself.
My relationship with my body is a violent tug of war. I lost 10-15 kilos after a depressive stage where I was also abusing a weight loss drug that will no longer be prescribed to me due to my mental health, and I just don't know what to do. I know I sound lazy, but I don't know how to wrap my head around even trying anymore. I find myself grotesque and I really.. Just need guidance and help. I want to look at myself in the mirror and not cry over the person looking back at me.
Sorry for the vent, but my search history on Google is becoming more and more worrisome and I'm scared about what I'm considering to try just to lose weight.
Any advice is appreciated.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/3x2PQDH
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