RANT! When it seems your body is only getting worse instead of better with weight loss

Hello all you lovely people!

Like most of you, I’m currently on a weight loss journey I began on January 1st this year. And to my own surprise, it has been going great! I’m 5”8 and my starting weight was 224lbs, I’m now at 189lbs, I want to lose at least another 53lbs to give you a perspective of how much I have ahead of me still. I’ve lost 35lbs so far and overall I can see as well as feel the difference. I’ve completely changed my diet, I’m eating relatively healthy most days, I cut out sugars. Most days I’m proud of myself. Because this time it seems I might actually do this.

What however I have been dreading since the beginning of this journey and is now gradually sneaking into my everyday life as I gaze at my naked body in the mirror, are the consequences of being obese and the physical marks it leaves. And by physical marks I’m talking about saggy breasts, saggy stomach, saggy everything. I am 24 and as you can imagine, most women my age have great bodies, toned stomachs, perky breasts and butts, you name it. It probably could be worse but I still feel disgusting. Right now it feels like I’ve ruined my body and the more I’m losing, the worse it gets. Yes, I look much better in clothing and hell yeah, bras can defy gravity and all that but to know how I look underneath feels almost like a deceit. It sounds stupid, I suppose. It feels good taking care of one’s health and body but it is miserable to see yourself becoming thinner but not better looking. My biggest motivation for losing weight is vanity and my eager hope to become more attractive and prettier, as sad as that sounds. I’ve felt awful being obese and now I’m feeling awful being a deflated air mattress, lmao. I will undoubtedly get a tummy tuck and a breast lift once I’m at my goal weight and even though it relieves me to know, someday I might still be able to get a nice body with surgery, the way left to go to get there seems bumpier than I’d anticipated.

I wonder if any of you can relate and how you dealt with it. I’m scared to reach my goal weight and see the price I’m paying for my obesity. Nevertheless, I would always prefer this body to my obese self.

Thank you for reading.

Xx

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