Tuesday, November 30, 2021

65 down, 70 to go....

I thought I'd be a lot more hype about this? I started at about 367 pounds, probably rounding up to 370 would be a safe bet. That was last January, at my heaviest ever. I had gotten down to 315 and 330 before, but then I would yo-yo back, and covid made it even worse. It honestly clicked this time, in combination with getting on the right medications, so with a lot of hard work at the gym and some (probably less than stellar) dieting... I'm now 303/304 pounds and a certified gym rat. Honestly, I'm not going to celebrate until I get back into the 2's, but it's just so stunning to me to look at the numbers. The last time I was this weight, it was my junior year of high school. And I'm in my 4th year of college now. My goal weight? I haven't weighed that 'little' since MIDDLE SCHOOL. I was always big and stress ate because of bullying etc, it became my identity. My self confidence and self worth was entirely built around it, and I know better now, but... I think I'm going to talk to a counselor at the university once I start getting close to my goal weight. I've heard a lot about people getting treated better, get more attention, get invited out more, etc when they've lost weight, and I'm honestly scared and unprepared for that, so I want to be prepared. But like... under 300 pounds? It's almost scary, lol. If I hadn't hit a plateau I would have already been there, but that's OK albeit slightly annoying. I know weight loss isn't linear, and any progress is good progress. Though I kinda wish I could just 'rip off the bandaid' so I can get it over with and buy my new wardrobe already LOL. These 3xl sweatpants are already falling down my butt when they were tight before.

I was stuck at 311/312 for probably over a month, but looking at it now, I think I just hit the point of overtraining. The last couple of weeks before break, my sports practices made me feel like I was out of gas, stuff that I was doing well at, at the start of the semester, was killing me all of a sudden. I couldn't focus, I just felt heavy at the gym and exhausted for no reason. It was like a crawl to the finish line to get to Thanksgiving break, and I only went for one 20 minute jog/walk that whole week and slept in a bunch... granted I ate like shit and I shouldn't have, but whoops. I thought I would have surely gained weight and prepared for the mental hit, ready to see 315... but it was 303 instead. Bodies are weird, man. I'm easing myself back into exercise this week, so hopefully I'll get back on track and will have minimal hiccups to the end of my goal.

I guess I don't have any questions, I just needed a bit of a soapbox to share this with someone; sorry it's kinda all over the place. My family doesn't really understand it and most of them are the types that can breathe and lose weight, so whenever I share my struggles, it's either an awkward conversation or I get the usual 'well you just need to diet and exercise more'. Or constantly offering me candy.

Happy tuesday!

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