With the pandemic hitting and me going from biking 20km daily, training 25 PT clients a week, teaching 5 hours of Pilates classes a week, plus 4 hour long weightlifting workouts to… absolutely nothing… I’ve put on so much weight I don’t know what to do with myself.
At the time above I maintained on roughly 2,300 calories a day.
I had to watch my eating because biking back and forth morning and night to the gym burned about 400 calories and always made me want to overeat 3x that in compensation but Aside from that I had mildly visible abs (~20% body fat), very defined legs, rounded shoulders, and a strong waist to hip ratio.
Ive maintained that look since 2010 when I was competing in bikini. As a child I was a competitive gymnast and had an 8 pack, strong arms, etc.
My self image is pretty closely tied to being “fit”.
For reference, I have three seperate certificates in nutrition, multiple personal training and weight lifting certificates, and some specific exercise class courses under my belt as well. I have helped hundreds of women achieve their goals with weight loss, fat loss, muscle gain, etc. in the past ten years.
I have tracked my food every single day for 8+ years (stopping in 2018) before I felt comfortable hitting my macros and going with my knowledge and intuition.
July of this year I was 146lbs at 5’3 (up from 125 prepandemic) when I was so disgusted with Myself I started doing home workouts, running, changing food up, etc. it took me a while to find out I maintain on 1800 cals on “workout days” and 1600 cals on rest days.
I am 136.8 now.
I’ve shed ten pounds but having ten to go and feeling totally burnt out. I’m losing more weight when I train less often and I have no CLUE how many calories I should be aiming for.
If I go too low I will binge and be SUPER hungry, if I go too close to maintenance I will not lose any weight that week.
I cannot physically bring myself to log my food.
I find myself frustrated that I can’t just eat a regular freaking meal without caring too much about protein.
I find my workouts to be so exhausting.
I just feel burnt out.
I feel like I will never lose these last ten pounds unless I sacrifice and suffer and I’m just done.
Any advice? I saw a photo of me the other day and was so sad with how I looked, but this week trying to force myself to watch my eating has me so freaking irritated. I feel like what’s wrong with me, why is this so hard, why will these last ten pounds not come off, etc.
Sw: 146 Cw: 136.8 Gw: 125
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