Hi I’m a (24F) pw: 178lbs cw:168lbs 5ft4 who used to have a banging body 2 years ago. I was at 115lbs with 17% body fat. I was the kind of girl who went to the gym everyday, drank protein shakes religiously, who lived on egg whites and chicken breasts. I even had a 4 pack at some point. I know you are getting annoyed reading this because that girl is usually annoying. Heck, maybe I was annoying, but I felt damn good when I looked in the mirror. I had eating dissorders then but they were kept under control. Then, my mother: my bestfriend, was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer and a switch went off in my brain. One day to the next my binge eating went out of wack. In one year I gained 30 lbs, then the second year, another 30lbs. I don’t know how Its even gotten this bad. I have avoided looking at myself in the mirror for these past 2 years, or taking pictures. I actually catch glances sometimes and genuinely feel like Im looking at someone else, not me. My husband took a video of me the other day in secret while we were joking around and showed it to me after. When I saw myself I was speechless, I couldn’t believe how big I actually was. I still haven’t quite grasped the extent of my weight gain. I know to some maybe 168 is great but, to someone who’s life revolved around fitness, outdoor activities and health, it’s devastating and it feels like Ive lost myself, literally in all these roll. This sounds like a pitty party ,but I need for my brain to register the fact that I am fat, a fatso, a fatty or whatever you wanna call it. If I don’t realize it soon, i’ll never be myself again. What was your turning point to weight loss and realizing you couldn’t keep living that way??
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/30UiXOl
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