Being physically small and dealing with restriction frustration

Hi all! (23F 5’3”, SW: 142, CW: 129, GW: 115 pre-bulk)

I’ve been on this weight loss journey for about 4 months now and down 13 pounds. This has definitely been a mental journey as much as a physical one. I’ve had a struggled history of body acceptance. I was just across the line of being overweight throughout college despite the fact I was constantly obsessed over the foods I was eating (carried over from my days as an athlete in high school). I grew up in a healthy household, plenty of veggies and fruits, but moderating my intake always seemed to be my biggest issue. This became especially true when in college and spending time with friends and having the occasional drink while no longer in a sport. I was “healthy” in the foods I was consuming and hardly ever allowed myself to packaged foods or fast food, but was making up for those calories with fruits, nuts, yogurt, etc.

After getting a stable job, beginning a relationship with a wonderful partner, and having our own space together, I decided to take up to the gym and make more of an effort to lose weight and gain confidence in who I wanted to be.

All that being said, I struggle to shake off the frustration sometimes of how limiting my daily consumption can be at a fairly short height while being female, especially when with a partner and surrounding friends who are much taller and usually male (with resting metabolic rates at the number I’d maintain with on days I work out). I started this journey knowing I’d only be comfortable losing weight on days I went to the gym, because otherwise my TDEE-500 would be under 1200 which is impossible for me to be comfortable with throughout the day. And that’s perfectly fine, it’s worked so far and I feel much better physically than any other time I’ve tried losing weight. Once at my goal weight, I plan to focus on building muscle to raise my TDEE as well.

But still, sometimes I can’t help but feel… envious? Discouraged? When exposed to the plates of people who can consume much more without it taking as much of a hit to their goals. And it’s not aimed frustration or a slight against people who have higher TDEE’s at all by any means. It’s just frustration at knowing this is the hand I’ve been dealt, especially as someone who absolutely LOVES food of every kind, who loves baking and cooking and trying new recipes and local restaurants and cuisines. But my partner can splurge on a slice of cake, for example, without having to work their whole day around it for the sake of losing or even just maintaining. A spontaneous day where we splurge on ice cream, or a restaurant meal, or even just a higher calorie homemade meal disproportionately affects our personal caloric efforts. And although I have no problem getting back on track the next day, that feeling of disappointment lingers every once in a while.

I just wondered if this experience is universal for other petite women, and what ways you’ve handled that kind of frustration?

Thanks in advance :)

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