It's time I finally take care of myself.

For as long as I can remember, I've been overweight. I was bullied a lot through school and from family members for it. I turned to food for comfort because I grew up in a home where there was always conflict and many times abuse. Food was the only safe and comforting thing.

I've attempted the fad diets and accepted defeat. My whole life it's been yo-yo dieting. Wanting to get skinny fast and starving, and then binging a few days later because I was restricting too much. And the just giving up all together and getting back up to my highest weight.

I've been feeling SO uncomfortable in my body. It's hard to move. I recently had foot surgery and it's even more difficult to move because of all the extra weight. My back hurts a lot, I can't sit for more than a few minutes without my feet and legs going numb...it's a lot. I can't keep up with my son. I just feel exhausted constantly and weighed down. I can tell that my body desperately needs healthy food and not take out.

I've been doing a ton of research recently and realized that my approach was not going to work. I needed to make changes that would build habits overtime and make life long changes. I also needed to reframe my mind. I needed to write down why I wanted this, and exactly what I would need to do to get to my goal. I realized I absolutely need to track everything I eat, at least for now, because I have no idea how to eat in a healthy way intuitively. I am hoping that after I've done this for a long time and reach my goal of losing 90lbs, I will be able to continue that pattern of eating without having to track everything.

I'm mostly just posting this for myself because I don't want to forget how I feel right now. I feel ready to take this on, and I'm not afraid for once. I know that the method of weight loss is simple, calories in vs calories out. I know that it's simple, but it's NOT going to be easy. I want to enjoy the journey and learn from the lows, I want to be proud of myself for overcoming challenges along the way, and be able to say...I did it.

submitted by /u/garysanthropology
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