Weight loss after recovery

Hi all!!

(CW: eating disorders)

I’m posting here for some advice from the most positive weight loss sub I can find - I hope that’s ok! Disclaimer - I know no one here is a professional, I’m just looking for some honest thoughts or opinions from people who may have been through some similar things/just have some genuinely healthy ways of losing weight

To keep a very long story short, I (F23) developed various eating disorders from the age of 11 - unlike most, the pandemic and subsequent lockdowns were the shock I needed to sort my eating out and - while it is still a long road ahead - I have for the most part recovered!! I still have many food-related issues, but no longer any physically damaging behaviours, which is an enormous win! Unsurprisingly, my metabolism cannot handle this, and I imagine I also probably don’t really understand portion sizes or intuitive eating etc. My recovery has led to my (previously healthy) weight increasing exponentially, and I have shot up about four dress sizes, to the point where I am borderline overweight, and have been for maybe six months. As the world has opened up again, this has led to an avoidance of social situations - especially those where I have to look nice!

I need to lose weight, not just for how I look or to improve my own self esteem, but to keep my body healthy. I want to get fit again, but I haven’t exercised in a year, and I find the knowledge that I will not be as strong or as fit as I used to be (while also being way heavier!) is something that keeps me avoiding the gym at all costs. No doctor I have spoken to has anything other than generic unhelpful advice (‘eat less’ - objectively correct, but a dangerous thing to say to me)

I know the solution is to be kind to myself and be gentle, but that approach seems to result in me sitting around the house and not doing anything! Short of the self-love approach, every other weight loss tactic I’ve come across seems to be based in the self critical - something I know will end in a relapse or total hatred of my body, which obviously isn’t something I am willing to entertain with my history. Does anyone have any ideas for motivated, but kind, weight loss? Has anyone been through anything similar? I would appreciate any and all advice, or even any thoughts that you have!!

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