I have struggled with weight loss for the last three or four years. I always told myself that if I ever hit 250, that would be it, and I would hunker down and lose weight. Well, 250 came and went, and eventually at my heaviest I was 262 pounds. That was about 6 months ago.
A lot has happened since then in my life. For one, I was brutally dumped at the beginning of March. It was wildly unexpected, and tore me to pieces. The next two months were terrible. I binged, I spent far too much on takeout and delivery, and I was miserable. My pants got tight, I hated how I looked. I stopped taking care of myself entirely.
Then, something changed. I can’t pinpoint what or when, but sometime around June I just decided enough was enough. It wasn’t that I was overweight or binging but rather I was poor and didn’t need to spend money like that. I started taking my antidepressants again and for the first time ever, I felt they were truly working.
Since then I’ve taken my antidepressants regularly, have been taking multivitamins since I’m well aware my diet is not quiet nutritious even still, and I’ve been taking my dog out for longer walks, for his sake rather than mine.
I started liking what I saw in the mirror. I noticed my pants feeling a bit too loose— I even have to wash them twice as often as I used to so they’ll shrink a bit. I’m at the point now where I’ll need to buy a belt soon.
Two days ago, I decided I’d weigh myself before I took a shower. I felt thinner, but I couldn’t say for sure. I had a thought in the back of my mind saying “Stop it, you haven’t lost any weight. Put the scale away.” But I persisted. I stripped down and, even though I had already had a meal that day, decided it was time.
- I blinked. What? That’s a number I hadn’t seen since before the pandemic. Could I really have lost over 25 pounds? Without even truly attempting to?
I checked again today. This time before a meal, and sure enough— 235.
This really inspired me. It made me feel amazing. For years I’d been trying to just reach 240, and I somehow stumbled into it. Ultimately I blame my antidepressants. They’ve helped so much. I’m not chasing the dopamine from food quite so much. Also, being poor helped.
Which sounds absurd, I know. But it’s true. I had to get clever with food. Thing is, I know myself. I know that if I buy a bunch of healthy stuff I’ll eat my favorites and leave the rest to rot. There are some foods, I’ve found, that I would rather go hungry than eat. Broccoli, I’m looking at you.
So my diet is leagues away from being extraordinary. Most days I’ll eat a totino’s party pizza for breakfast, then have another TV dinner for, well, dinner. Lunch I’ll occasionally have ramen at work. I’m satisfied, though I’m sure my sodium levels are through the roof.
Anyway, I just wanted to share. I don’t have anyone else to talk to about my weight loss, so this is nice. Thanks for listening.
EDIT: I wanted to add that I am 6’ tall, Female, and my goal weight is 180 in the end, though it’s not a hard set goal.
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