So, I used to be bigger. Then I wasn't. Being a parent kind of snowballed into constant stress eating. Now I am again. It wasn't bothering me, but it's affecting my health and I want to try.
My biggest problem is that I am a stress eater who has ADHD and dissociative episodes. So basically any time I am even moderately overwhelmed, I will end up in full blown rage and isolating myself, or binging. It's like there is no crutch that works except a huge amount of carbs and I hate myself for it.
I know I have a low calorific need. I know I need a protein biased diet to help my meds work. I know I have to focus on diet for weight loss cause my mobility is so fucked on a daily basis.
But when it comes to the actual act of controlling my diet? I basically do fine for a few days, then someone starts making constant noises that make me want to slam my head into a wall, or I get like 3h of sleep a night for a few in a row, or I have to handle something imploding at home or work or uni, and I go into autopilot and either end up hiding from everyone and acting hostile or eating a whole loaf of bread. When I am angry, the only thing that actually stops it is carbs.
I feel like I have no real capacity to control my life. Last time I lost weight I didn't have to share my fridge with anyone, I could hide from people and be angry for days at a time, and I was much more physically capable. I keep trying to do exactly what I did last time, but it doesn't work cause none of that is the same.
Where do I even begin to learn to control my diet when I can't realistically just go on some kinda "starve and rage" retreat?
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/fGm25Ek
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