Did anyone else lose the weight just to end up... not looking that much better? Does it affect your motivation in maintaining?

I'm currently 115lbs (52kgs), 5'6 (167cm), 32F. I've maintained in roughly this ballpark for the last 10 years, after losing approx. 45lbs (20kgs).

One of the biggest reasons I lost the weight (if I'm being perfectly honest with myself, just about the only reason) was to look better. However, I'm a naturally unattractive woman. People talk about their weight loss transformation, and how they started being noticed and treated well by others - no longer invisible, and no longer blatantly excluded. That didn't happen to me. Unlike what feels like everyone else's experiences here, I didn't have a pleasant face hidden under all that baby fat. I'm still the goofy outcast.

I also never stopped being hungry. One of my main loves in life is food, and while I got better at controlling my intake and eating healthier, I was never one of those people who could eat half a sandwich and complain about being sooooo full. Maintenance has always been about denial and self-control; about watching my friends munch away at their fifth pizza slice, while my stomach growls and I tell myself I'm satisfied with two.

I often find myself wondering why I'm depriving myself, if it's not like I'll actually ever look nice enough to fit in. In fact, that's probably one of the main factors that shakes my motivation in maintaining. Sometimes I'll look at that extra taco and just think, well, what's the point in resisting?

I won't lie - it's this mentality that has seen me go through more than a few extra donuts these last couple of days, which is why I suppose I'm posting here. I'm wondering if anyone else has a similar experience?

submitted by /u/ramence
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