M28, 6'4" (194cm), SW: 274lbs, CW: 264lbs, GW: 175-180lbs
I've been trying since I gained my quarantine weight to get my shit together. Living with my ex was intensely stressful these last several years, plus realizing I hate my job and WFH isn't for me. I was intensely unhappy for a long period. Got back on antidepressants, they helped in some ways and hindered in others. It was one of the most difficult 3 years of my life, right up there with college and my parents' divorce. But, it was a pressure cooker that forced me to look at my life and my direction. I had to realize nothing is going to happen for me in my life unless I go and get what I want. That goes for weight and everything else, at least for me.
I've had two successful weight loss journeys in my life, and this week:
Age 16-17, 315lbs to 275lbs over summer vacation. I discovered the MFP website and learned about nutrition, I went for morning walks and did my dad's 40+ tae bo tape every day.
Age 22-24, 277lbs to 192lbs. I learned a lot. I restricted my calories too severely and did too much cardio in the beginning. It became a "coming of age" time in my life as I lost weight. I was at a big university in a big town for the first time and I got romantic/sexual attention for the first time, that motivated me to keep going. I ate 2600-2900 calories and ran on the treadmill for 1.5-2hrs every night, and lifted weights in the mornings. I've never felt so young in my life, and as the weight came back my body felt older again. I ran a lot because I got addicted to it, the high was better than weed.
Age 28, 274lbs to 264lbs. This is my most successful attempt since I gained the pandemic weight. I feel better about my life and my future than I ever have. I have a sense of my direction in life like never before, and that is motivating me to get my shit together. I'm going back to school, work is going great, not living with my ex anymore, and I'm planning and tracking all my meals. I'm eating fewer calories so I don't have to exercise (because I have homework every night tbh) and it's working great. I'm feeling great. Yesterday morning, I noticed that my pants were fitting looser. I weighed myself, and I had lost 10lbs! I know the loss won't be 10lbs every week, but I'm so happy.
I really don't feel I can be myself when I'm as heavy as I am now. I don't feel as good in clothes, I don't want to date or be social in general, and I just don't feel as good. My joints hurt and stairs are harder. I feel (and probably look) older. Though I will say as someone who was heavy from childhood, experiencing a big weight loss, and then experiencing a big weight gain, has really taught me a lot. It changes so much about your body and how you feel, I never even realized before.
Plans are to get down to 175-180lbs. Then I'll eat at a slight surplus with high protein and mostly focus on weight lifting, eating enough protein to build muscle. I'm not interested in bulking/cutting, I want to eat enough to strengthen my body.
I want to enjoy being young while I'm still young, and I want to age well. So much of what I do now with my body sets me up for later life, and I finally realize that. I see a lot more now than when I was younger.
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