I am writing this post as a way to firmly begin my weight loss plan. I have been unhealthy for a long time and have been feeling terrible for even longer. I am hoping that by losing the weight and instilling some healthy habits, I’ll feel better physically and mentally.
I am a petite woman (24 y.o., 4’9”, 140lbs). Just writing out my weight has me frozen with fear. This is the heaviest I have ever been and I can feel it. I feel so sluggish and tired all day, not to mention how bad my depression and anxiety have gotten. I have so many self destructive tendencies and have been so quick to blame my lack of impulse control on that fact, that I haven’t taken responsibility in a long time.
I am excited to take responsibility and control over my life again, but if I’m being honest, this is also the very thing I am terrified of. I’m going to try very hard not to beat myself up too hard if I am not perfect - and try extra hard not to fall into another disordered eating pattern. I currently have a habit of binge eating and i am worried that I’ll fall into a restrictive eating habit that is too unhealthy. I’m trying to get ahead of this by making sure that I have protein/nutrient rich foods available, as well as things that I actually like to eat.
This is my second day following a 1200 calorie diet and I’m feeling good about it so far, just scared for the inevitable cravings to hit. I just want this so bad. I am going to up my steps to about 10,000 a day. Eventually I plan to implement exercise into my routine but I’m trying to make small changes here and there first.
I hope to lose 20-30 pounds, however long that takes.
Well, here goes!
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