Where I started: On April 19 of this year, I started at roughly 163 pounds (74 kg) at 5'4" (163 cm) with a BMI of 28 (overweight BMI).
Where I ended: On September 10, I hit my goal weight of 130 pounds by weighing in at 129.4 pounds (58.7 kg) and a BMI of 22.3 (normal BMI).
Before and After with weight chart: https://i.postimg.cc/MH8xyGvn/Elizalupine_Weight_Goal_Writeup.jpg
Timing: When I began the process, I had the intention of losing 1-2 pounds per week which would have taken me about 20 weeks. I estimated pretty well because it took me 21 weeks to reach my goal. On average, I lost 1.6 pounds per week and roughly 7 pounds per month.
System: The main system that I used was CICO (calories in, calories out), I tracked my food in MyFitnessPal, and for the first half of my weight loss I used the gym's scale and weighed in once per week, but then switched to a daily weigh-in using the Etekcity Digital Body Weight Bathroom scale. I maintained between a 500 and 1000 calorie deficit, and the exact amount is difficult because of fluctuations with water weight and activity level of that week. This usually worked out to eating 1200-1300 calories during the week and then around 1400 on the weekends which coincided with my workouts.
Grab a drink and settle in for my novella about the insights I discovered along the way. I've divided it up into things that worked for me, things that didn't work for me, challenges, and surprises.
THINGS THAT WORKED
Logging my food became a minimum requirement during my weight loss journey. It's too hard for me to keep track of things in my head, so I log everything that I consume into MFP and I make decisions based on that information. I do not have "cheat meals" or "cheat days" or "no-logging days" because I want to connect the weight fluctuations back to my eating decisions. Of course sometimes I go over my daily limit, but I don't consider that cheating - it's just part of the process.
Two things helped to improve my food logging process: at the beginning of my journey, I spent an evening manually importing all of my go-to recipes into MFP's recipe manager, and now I can log those common meals quickly and consistently. Second, I started using a food scale and consistently measured everything in grams, and then found the MFP listings that show the food in grams. I weigh things just before I eat, so if I'm logging some chicken I will look for "chicken breast, cooked, in grams" and use that listing. Tip: ASDA is a grocery chain based in Europe and lists food nutritional values of ingredients and basic foods in grams, so I would search "ASDA corn" to find a listing of cooked corn in grams.
One of the main reasons that I have been successful is through joining the 30-day accountability challenges. Shout out to /u/pumpkin_beer , /u/viking187, /u/loquinmalie, and /u/Mountainlioness404d for hosting the challenges! It was so incredibly encouraging to get messages about my thoughts, progress, and reflections and I want to thank them all for taking the time to create a space where we could discuss our daily experiences. Not only was it motivating to talk to other people about the ups and downs, but I set different mini-goals for myself each month that reflected the process in my journey. Each month, I had a daily tracking goal and a monthly mini-goal which was about 5 pounds per month.
- The first month (May) I focused on reflecting on new behaviors, learning what my body truly needs, and self-soothing techniques that don't require food.
- The second month (June) I focused on a daily meditation practice, noticing what affects my self-control, and continued reflecting on my new behaviors.
- The third month (July) I continued the daily meditation practice, noticing what feels good (non-food), and learning how to take anxiety out of cooking.
- The fourth month (August) I made it more simple and focused on what specific cravings I experienced and instituted a daily appreciation practice.
- The fifth month (September) I continued the daily appreciation and incorporated a goal to make one new vegetable-based healthy dish per week.
During most of the weight loss, I exercised 1-2 days a week with high-intensity kickboxing conditioning classes. Sometimes I would switch one of those days out with an hour on the elliptical machine instead, and I enjoyed watching the TV show Scandal while working out.
Mindset: I started losing the weight by thinking "If I want to weigh 130 pounds, I need to eat like a 130-pound person." There was absolutely no shame or self-hate regarding my body at my highest weight, but instead I was making the decision that I no longer needed to carry around 30 pounds of extra weight. I thought of the weight like a storage shed and that I tend to hang on to things longer than they are needed, and the weight loss process was de-cluttering the closet so that I was only carrying around what I needed. This mindset was critical in my success because it didn't feed into a shame spiral and it allowed me to take care of my mental health at the same time as lose the weight. It was a practical and concerted effort rather than an attempt to force my body to change or be someone different than I am.
Food: I didn't make any major changes to my diet, and I think this is one of the reasons that it was so successful. Early on I noticed that bread wouldn't sit very well with me after eating it, and it would make me really sleepy, so I removed it from my diet. I didn't make any other intentional changes and focused more on portion control. Of course to maintain a 1000-calorie deficit and not be constantly angry, some gradual changes did occur in my diet.
I stopped thinking of foods as "good vs bad" but instead started thinking of them as "worth it vs not worth it." My personal "worth it" foods are ice cream, cake, french fries, fried chicken, chocolate, cheese, and alcohol. My personal "not worth it" foods are tortilla chips, peanut butter, pizza, cheeseburgers, and bread pastries - not because I don't still like these things (I promise, I DO! I absolutely love them) but because the calories were too high or they made me feel too uncomfortable for the level of satisfaction that I gained from them. For example, cheeseburgers are usually 800-1000 calories each, so I couldn't possibly eat one and stay within my calorie range for the day, and because I dislike cheeseburger leftovers, I wouldn't want to eat half and take the rest home; additionally, the bread might make me feel sick, lethargic, and constipated so I just stopped ordering them. On the other hand, a quesadilla reheats well, the thin bread doesn't seem to bother me, and I can portion it out to make it work. Peanut butter is so damn good but the amount that I want to eat is way beyond what I have the calories for, so I just stopped eating it all together (same goes with tortilla chips.) Cakes feel like a special enough treat that I can have it once a week and feel happy that I worked it in, and I would usually split a slice so it's only about 300 calories and my cravings are actually satiated.
My piece of advice for anyone who is embarking on this journey - get to know your "worth it vs not worth it foods" and work in the worth it, and just forget about the not worth it foods. It's different for everyone, so learn what works for you!* (see footnote below)
Another food change was that I started eating a lot more vegetables. In the past, I avoided vegetables because even though I kept thinking I should eat more, the sound of them was just cold and plain. But due to the low calorie limit, I had to incorporate veggies because they are more filling and less calories than other foods. Now I love roasting root vegetables, and incorporating green vegetables into other dishes. I do eat some salads, but they don't make up the bulk of my diet and instead I will make a chicken and rice bowl and then add some sauteed veggies to give it flavor and bulk up the nutrition. One of the reasons that I don't eat many salads is that my low-calorie dressing options are depressing; there is no good substitute to real olive oil and vinegar and because I love to bulk up salads with lots of different things, they ended up not being very low-calorie. A little bowl of rice and beans with a side of roasted veggies does way more for me than a cold salad.
*Footnote: I hated hearing this at the beginning, because I wanted a foolproof system that I knew would just WORK, but the challenge and opportunity of this process is that it IS a process of getting to know yourself. As someone who went through a lot of bad stuff in my childhood, I get very anxious when I have to pay attention to myself and learn what I like/dislike, but that is the only way. It is hard work, it does take dedication, and it does take self-awareness. There is no way of getting out of that. But it's okay because you can also pay attention to what alleviates your stress, and find people that will talk with you every step of the way. We're here for you and you're not alone!
Planning: I meal prep for breakfast and lunches during my working week, so I rarely eat anything from the cafeteria unless I ran out of food. I make a list of meals that I want to eat, order the groceries online, and then pick them up from the grocery store to reduce temptation and impulse purchases. I'll usually have oatmeal for breakfast during the week (eggs and potatoes on the weekends), then a basic lunch of protein/starch/veggie in a little glass container, and then another meal for dinner. I tend to eat lean foods like chicken, ground turkey, lean beef, broccoli, kale, sweet potatoes, onions, eggs, almond milk, beans, and mozzarella cheese, and I just rotate those things week by week. I use glass containers (snapware or pyrex) because I don't like the taste of reheated foods in plastic.
I stopped drinking lattes, bubble teas, and other high-calorie drinks with the exception of alcohol which I still drink on a weekly basis. I just didn't find that a latte gives me much satisfaction, and it gets in the way of having a snack when I'm hungry. I drink black coffee and a lot of herbal teas.
Focusing on portion control did wonders for me, and it re-calibrated my hunger signals. I used to not feel satisfied even after a very big meal, but now I can have a few chips, half a beer, and an appetizer size quesadilla and be absolutely stuffed, and this is good because it's sustainable. If that's my go-to behavior at restaurants, I'll be able to maintain the weight loss. It didn't happen overnight, and the first two weeks were brutal because I was constantly hungry and not used to feeling like that. Over time, my body adjusted to eating less, but I still feel a little weak and lethargic sometimes. It's uncomfortable to eat at a deficit, but that's okay! It's not going to kill me.
I switched from automatic eating to intentional eating. If I have a big dinner, sometimes I'm not hungry in the morning, so I will skip breakfast until I'm actually hungry. I am working on not compulsively eating anymore, and it took a lot of dedicated effort in that realm, but I feel pretty much in control now. The main thing that throws me off is when I get poor sleep.
THINGS THAT DIDN'T WORK
Stressing about how slow the process feels didn't work for me. I had to consciously focus on what I could control today (my intake) and use the forums to discuss my struggles.
Doing the weight loss with friends/partner did not work for me either. At the beginning of my process, everyone and their sister also decided to go on a diet and at first, I was so excited to have other people in real life to share in the process! But after about three weeks, they were all back to eating burgers and pizza at lunch, ignoring their calories, stopped tracking, and didn't want to discuss things anymore. I don't judge them for their decision - I've started and stopped in the past too, but the main takeaway is to not rely on other people in your life to keep you motivated. I had to just keep doing my thing regardless of their decisions.
I totally bombed when I went on a 4-day road trip with family and tried to stick to a diet - I was stressed and angry the entire time because I felt this strain to choose the most diet-friendly meal on the menu instead of just enjoying the local cuisine and time with them. Dining out for three meals a day is difficult on a 1200-1500 calorie diet, so next time I'll just accept that I'll be eating at maintenance and do some damage control afterward.
For a few months, I tried to cut out sweets and desserts from my diet, but it just made me sad. Desserts are a passion of mine (I dream of being a pastry chef) and it just felt so depressing to keep denying myself! Instead, I found some diet-friendly options that satisfied my cravings and allowed me to stick with my restriction: I enjoy fudgiciles, vanilla ice cream, and flourless chocolate cake from skinnytaste.
Expecting linear weight loss left me angry and disappointed! I lost a bunch of weight within the first 2 weeks, then I plateaued during the month of June, then I had another big whoosh during July, and then plateaued BAD during the month of August, but then dropped 5 pounds within a week in September. The stall and whoosh is real, and I'm so glad that I had the people in this forum to tell me what to expect.
CHALLENGES
Clothing: One of my motivators as I lost weight was to save up money (relative to the amount of weight loss) and buy a new wardrobe once I hit my goal, but I needed new clothes along the way, and I didn't want to spend any of that money on temporary clothes. I thrifted when I could, but then soon enough those were hanging off of me before I was at my goal weight. Basically, I looked frumpy this whole summer because nothing fit and I wouldn't spend money on intermediary clothes. Still, I had a hard time saving up money because I have a lot of bills and debt, but I had around $800 once I hit my goal weight. This didn't go very far once I decided to build a capsule wardrobe and only spend money on clothes that feel amazing, so I only managed to get a few basics with my saved up cash. I haven't overcome this challenge because although I do have some stuff to wear (basically jeans, bras and tees), there are so many more styles that I want to wear and I have no money to buy them!
What's my goal? I had a weight goal in mind when I started the process and it was the lowest of recent memory (140 pounds.) I thought that that was the lowest that I could realistically achieve, but after looking on this forum and some others, I saw women my height at much lower weights than that, and it changed my perception. So I modified my goal to being the lowest in my adult life (130 pound) because that's what I saw other women at my height that I admired online, so I thought that would be a good goal. Once I reached my goal, I was happy with my size but wanting some more toning in the glutes and abs, so I'll be moving into a body recomp. The takeaway here is that it's okay for goals to change, it's okay to not be sure what you ultimately want, and you may arrive to your goal and want something different. It's a process, and as long as you're moving in a healthy direction, I think it's okay!
SURPRISES
I feel so much better. I had mental health goals when I started (also vanity goals), but it never dawned on me that I would also feel better physically. I wanted to mend my relationship with food, and I think I have done that (for the most part) but I didn't think that losing weight would physically make me feel better. I sleep better, it's easier to go on hikes (I fly up the trail), overall I actually feel less hungry, I can reach my toes to put on shoes or paint my toes without pressing my gut, and running is easier.
People see me! I had a difficult childhood and it left me feeling ignored and invisible, but this weight loss process has shown that people see me, notice me, and validate me. Mostly everyone at work has complimented my weight loss saying "wow you lost a ton of weight." I didn't think 30 pounds was that noticeable, but it made me realize that they saw me.
After the initial hunger pangs from eating less food subsided, I was surprisingly satisfied with a calorie deficit. It wasn't nearly as painful as I always imagined! I started drinking way more water because I wasn't getting as much through eating, and that made me realize that many times that I feel awful and weak, I am often dehydrated. Not always, sometimes I truly am hungry, but it's helped me to learn more about myself.
My rate of weight loss was really unexpected. I lost 10 pounds in the first couple of weeks, and then I was down 25 pounds in the first few months, but then it took me another 2 months to lose another 10. The initial success was extremely motivating and helped me to get through the lulls by showing me that I was on the right path.
Through this process, I realized that I comforted myself with food, and that was a big (and very helpful) realization for me. I learned that I need to cope with my emotions by being present with them, by reaching out for support from the people who are closest to me, and I need warmth. When my body doesn't feel good, getting wrapped up in a blanket and holding a heating pad really does soothe me. Being compassionate toward myself has really helped me to not eat my emotions.
Do these posts have a word limit? I better wrap this up or else I'll never post, and I really want this to be shared with the community that did so much for me. Thank you for reading, and I hope that something resonated with you. My main advice is to find your pep-talk people, be honest with yourself (you won't get far if you are in denial), and also be gentle with yourself - this is a hard process and it doesn't always feel good. But just put one foot in front of the other and keep going on the path that takes you where you want to go.
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