Visiting this community again after several years when I first lost a good chunk of weight. I'm trying to restart my weight loss, but for some reason this time it's harder. The thing is, I'm at a weight that, although I'm overweight, is kind of seen as normal (in the US). I'm ~170 lbs at 5'7" (22F). I don't have far to go to be a normal weight, but that is like a crutch for me. I don't have a fire lit under my ass. Maybe because losing the weight seems to be a vanity thing, even though I'm not at a healthy weight.
What's worse is that I have this idea that my weight is what's holding me back from being the woman I envision for myself. Like losing it is a hurdle that once I cross it, I'll have my high self-esteem and self-confidence back. That I'll feel empowered and beautiful and proud of myself. That I'll finally have the right to go after the things I want. I fully realize this is a messed up line of thinking! Losing weight isn't a golden ticket. But why does it feel that way? And if I feel that way, why have I not made myself act on it already?
I mean, I get that habits have to change in order to change my poor eating habits. But that is so hard! Haha. It's so strange, I have this tendency to feel like compelled to eat when I'm stressed or tired (I'm in school so this is like, every night). Like if I have leftovers sitting in the fridge I can't get it out of my mind to grab them. Even if I want to save them for the next day, even if I've already eaten dinner, etc etc. I didn't grow up learning the best eating habits or really how to cook for myself, but I'm an adult now with internet access so that's not an excuse lol. I've educated myself through this sub and elsewhere on the techniques to lose weight, so I know what to do and just don't do it. I know better, but I make poor choices anyway! I feel powerless to my own brain and I'm NOT comfortable with that.
Sorry for the long post, but getting thoughts out there is cathartic. It's honestly scary to admit and commit to writing. It kind of sounds like I'm super unhappy with my life and that is not true at all haha. I have great things going for me. But just like everyone else I have aspects of myself I want to improve.
[link] [comments]
from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2N4FuQF
No comments:
Post a Comment