This past month I have been meticulously tracking my calories and filling in the TDEE spreadsheet on reddit. Recording slow but steady weight loss with a light caloric deficit. I was starting to feel good about myself and my progress and getting into the groove of things and enjoying my exercise routine.
On Sunday I "pre-celebrated" my birthday by eating all the things I had stopped eating last month - slices of cake, homemade cupcakes, two KK doughnuts, a huge and greasy dinner of BBQ ribs and chips. ~4000 calories down the drain.
On Tuesday (my actual birthday) I brought out several trays of brownies for my colleagues to eat ... and proceeded to eat half a tray of them. I had another KK doughnut, a croissant, two flapjack bars and then had a huge celebratory meal at a highly-acclaimed Chinese restaurant, followed by a night of Eastern European gastronomic debauchery - Napoleon cake, pirogis, poppyseed brioches, custard buns ... ended the day at around ~6000 calories, give or take.
That was 10,000 calories I ate over 2 days - given that my TDEE is around 1700-1800 a day, that was about 7000 calories above my norm, translating to gaining 2 lbs of fat practically overnight.
Losing fat is hard for me ... so hard, in fact, that with all of my meticulous calculations and weight fluctuations my true weight loss last month was literally only 2 lbs. I had managed to erase an entire month's worth of progress in merely 2 days.
Today I woke up feeling awful - bloated, blisteringly hot, dismayed at myself for having done something so incredibly stupid.
But you know what?
- I had to be accountable to myself and stop being a little bitch: I logged the calories (as best as I could) on my tracking app anyway. No point in keeping all those calories hidden away and giving up.
- I put on my big girl pants and went to swim, according to my workout schedule. Tomorrow I will also go for my run, according to schedule.
- I told myself that my body is a beautiful machine and that it is working extremely hard to bring myself to homeostasis right now. The reason I was feeling so hot was because my body is increasing its internal temperature trying its hardest to burn off all my extra calories - with any luck my BMR is going to be twice as high today just because of this. My body is working hard and I shouldn't punish it.
- I told myself that I had NO regrets - the food was amazing, the company even better, and I was so lucky and privileged to be able to have the experiences I did and be able to celebrate as many birthdays as I have.
- And most importantly ... yes, this is a month of progress I now have to work hard to get back, but what is a month in the grand scheme of things? There are many many months to come,and so so many years left that I can work to be a better, healthier version of myself.
I thought I'd write this post to remind all of you not to give up just because you have faced setbacks. I'm proud of myself for sticking it through, when the easiest thing to do is to just bury my head in the sand and just revert to my old ways.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2MsxVTx
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