Monday, June 17, 2019

I'm not there yet and I'm finally OK with it (long post)

I've lost a lot of weight over the last two years, and got really fit. Like unusually fit, because I couldn't nail down the nutrition portion of weight loss, I leaned heavily on exercise, which I enjoyed more than changing my eating patterns. Over time, I did slowly change my eating to be able to enjoy the diet I have now, which helps me lose weight and do all the fun stuff. I went from hoping that 2x would fit to needing to get medium because the large would fall right off.

The issue was, I was still NOT THERE YET. Men seemed to notice how muscular I was right off the bat, because I'd overhear their comments about how jacked I was. Whereas women seemed to notice how I was still heavy in the middle and act shocked that I did anything fitness related, let alone at the high level I can do them. It could have been just cattiness/competitiveness or a lack of forthrightness in conversation on my part because I don't generally share my love of sport with others because people start feeling some type of way over it.

But the fact is, I do have a lot of muscle, and I could stand to lose some fat. And I was very upset about that. Why wasn't I THERE YET??? I felt like my hours of extreme workouts were a waste of time, and the body dysmorphia was hitting hard.

Last year I got a new wardrobe to celebrate not needing to shop at plus sized stores anymore. I thought by this time I would have a flat stomach. Or even look like a "slim" woman.

But this weekend, I was out with a lot of people and I felt really good. I wasn't the smallest or the biggest. I was comfortable sitting, I wasn't adjusting myself, or comparing myself. I was running with children and kept up with them. I was catching the eyes of gorgeous men.

I was just being me. Instead of EVALUATING me. Today, I was thinking about my meal prep and just enjoying the fact that while I'm not there yet, I'm getting there, and I've finally relaxed and decided to just enjoy the ride there.

submitted by /u/WonderWomanIRL
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2ImpMvC

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