Can we talk about this a little? I’ve seen on this sub how common it can be to lose a good friend once you start losing weight. I didn’t think it could happen to me, but it just did. And it sucks.
My BFF was always the one with the amazing body. I was just the fat BFF with the pretty face. Well, I’ve lost 85 lbs and my BFF. We have kids the same age and we don’t even hang out for the kids sake. That’s probably what hurts the most. I feel so bad for the kids.
She regularly works out and I didn’t. For years I had asked her if we could work out together so she could help me with a routine and it never happened. She always had some excuse as to why we couldn’t go to the same gym, or why she didn’t want to join a class with me. Then I started getting serious about what I was eating and she kept criticizing me that I wasn’t eating enough. Looking back at it, I think she just wanted me to stay the fat friend. When I lost about 50 lbs everyone, but her acknowledged I had lost weight. I didn’t care if she didn’t acknowledge it, thought it was just strange that she didn’t mention one word when it was extremely noticeable. But again, her approval wasn’t necessary so I just kept going without her support. Then when I had lost about 70 lbs she came to me super aggressive one day demanding to know how much weight I had lost (first time she even acknowledged my weight loss). I said I didn’t know (it’s information I just don’t feel comfortable sharing with even my husband) and that I was just going off by my clothing size. She got extremely upset and annoyed I wouldn’t tell her.
We just kept chugging along at the friendship. It felt strained. I’m now 85 lbs down. Two weeks ago we had our falling out. She made it completely unrelated to weight loss, but nothing else had changed. She said she felt different with me. She hasn’t called or texted, when we used to call or text multiple times a day. I refuse to play into the game and haven’t reached out either. I know it’s a two way street, but I’ve noticed she is the kind of friend who is happy when you’re good, she doesn’t want you to be better than her. I’ve noticed this not just with the weight loss, but in other aspects of our friendship: kids, finances, material things, etc. I think the losing weight was just the final straw for her.
I’m sad and feel stupid I didn’t realize what type of BFF I had sooner. Those that have lost friends over weight loss would you say a trait you’ve seen in this friend has been that they want to see you well, not just better than them? (And by see you well, I mean generally in life, not just physically seeing you well/healthier). I’m beginning to think this has to be a character trait of people like this, because why else would they not be genuinely happy for you?
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2XGmQj3
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