I've been with my partner for about 4 years now, and I feel this last year particularly I have been passively watching his health decline. I believe change has to come from within but I'm becoming increasingly worried, in the last couple of months I've voiced my concerns to him, which he has taken well verbally, but I haven't seen any change and I want to know what I can do to help.
He's had an extremely challenging year with multiple, close to home bereavements, the last thing I want to do is exacerbate things, but I also worry he's on a downward spiral.
His diet is quite restrictive and he's not receptive to my cooking (to be fair I'm not a good cook!), I tried in the past buying some healthy cookbooks and asking him to look through them and find meals he likes the sound of which I will cook, but that's been a dead end, and I've stopped pursuing it. He doesn't eat any fruit and avoids nearly all vegetables. Lots of bread, meat, and oven food.
His pattern is often to get out of bed in the afternoon, eat breakfast, lunch, dinner, and usually eat more very late before going to bed. He rarely seems to have a good night's sleep. He also smokes constantly.
His alcohol intake has also increased. He drinks beer every day, at least 3 bottles. Recently he bought two bottles of cava, which I had 1 and 1/2 glass of, he drank the rest in two evenings on top of his usual beers. I've tried to persuade him to try having just one night off the booze, but he laughs it off. I've decided to stop drinking alcohol myself (although I did buy a drink last night as it's my birthday today and I'll be spending most of it on the road.)
Exercise is virtually non-existent. I try to encourage him to come walking with me, but hayfever and asthma seem to make it just not an enjoyable experience for him. The volume of sneezing it sometimes results in is debilitating, it's unlike anything I've seen before.
I'd struggle to guess his weight, but it's a large amount of visceral, gut fat that's accumulated over the last year. He had a doctors appointment recently and they warned him his blood pressure was high, and he has to go back and have it checked again, but he hasn't shared the numbers with me.
Back to what I opened with, I do believe people have to want to make change for themselves. But this belief has made the last year feel like I'm watching a car crash in slow motion and it's heartbreaking. I don't think I can do anything about the smoking, but he wasn't this weight when we started dating, and I believe he can reach it again. He's a gorgeous, funny, outgoing, bold, intelligent guy who loves the outdoors. It's taken me a while to admit it to myself, but some of those qualities are getting buried under his lifestyle of constant smoking, eating, drinking, and wasting away in front of his PC. I figured there are a multitude of problems here, but if he can tackle his weight, that would be an incredible achievement.
I read the posts of people in this sub and I'm a huge admirer of what you've all achieved, or are on the road to achieving in terms of weight loss, and I would love to know what you think I can do in my situation to help my OH.
(Slight side note, I am a big believer of IF, I mostly do 16:8 throughout the work week but I'm not extremely strict with it. It's something I've encouraged him to read about, but I don't think it's helped)
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2WHANzW
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