Saturday, September 21, 2019

I Just Deleted MFP and I’m Kind of Worried

I feel like everyone’s going to think I’m a nut case.

I deleted MyFitnessPal and have decided to stop tracking calories. However, I still plan on using portion control and limiting myself to three meals and 1-2 snacks a day (usually I don’t need a morning snack but going between lunch and dinner is tough). I also want to focus on choosing healthier options even at unhealthy places (getting a small size at fast food places, boxing up half my meals at restaurants, choosing lots of veggies). And of course I will never give up working out because holy shit has it been a literal life saver.

I just feel like the calorie counting doesn’t work for me. Like I know it WORKS because science, but I’ve been bingeing non stop and I think it’s because I have that number to look at. I think I can eat more even when I’m full because of that number, I say “fuck it” when I go a calorie over.

I just feel like I need time to focus on mindful eating and reasonable portions before I come back to calorie counting. In fact, I researched binge eating and many suggested getting the binges and their cause under control before trying to restrict diet.

I don’t know how to explain it without sounding like “lol I’m giving up” because I’m not giving up on losing weight, I just want to find a balance first and then go from there if that makes sense.

I also stopped weighing myself every day and changed to weighing weekly because seeing the fluctuations drove me nuts even though I knew some of it was water and food weight. Like I haven’t gained or lost any weight, but I get freaked out if I see a .1 gain and overly happy when I see a .1 loss.

I don’t know I may even skip weighing all together and stick to measurements.

I’m just trying to find a sustainable weight loss method that doesn’t lower my self-esteem, make me feel guilty for eating, and that works even if it takes me a million years.

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